Post Reply 
EHPRA 2.0 (Sub break - Wim hof, and more)
10-13-2017, 08:27 AM
Post: #81
RE: EHPRA 2.0 (Sub break - Wim hof, and more)
https://open.spotify.com/track/6Q9bjbxQW...i=ZefjkAF0

This is how i feel. Kind of Wink

Anyway much better after a shower and some singing in there.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

-> E2 journal
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-13-2017, 01:17 PM (This post was last modified: 10-13-2017 01:20 PM by Greenduck.)
Post: #82
RE: EHPRA 2.0 (Sub break - Wim hof, and more)
My emotions are more stable. I have more control over them. But I am still _emotional_, meaning I live inside my emotions. I'm always in a kind of "turned on" mode, opposite of relaxed. I strive to find a more relaxation in myself, in my present. I feel tension in my belly and in my neck, and I guess these are that stand between me and my recovery.

Things that was very upsetting to me before - people telling me what to do, trying to influence me, are still irritating me but not putting me off balance as much as it did before. It was as if their emotions and opinions overwhelmed me, feeling as I had not power in the situation. So maybe there it is, the lack of personal power that is kind of the problem. Sure it is. I feel weak and with low confidence, which is what is described when the solar plexus chakra is blocked. As it gets unblocked and relaxed, I believe that these issues will fade away and some other way of living take its place.

Anyway I had a pretty enjoyable hang out with some friends today. I felt pretty relaxed, had some jokes, and overall nice atmosphere - something I would never thought was possible just 2-3 months back. I didn't worry all the time, but could be present in the moment, would summarize how it felt.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

-> E2 journal
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Greenduck's post:
ngoc009
10-15-2017, 09:58 AM (This post was last modified: 10-15-2017 10:37 AM by Greenduck.)
Post: #83
Codependency
I am reading a book on codependency right now as I felt that the issue have been present in myself but also because I suspected that I lived with someone (my mother) that could have it. It's called "Codependent no more" and so far about 1/5 of the book in I recognize many tendensens that are described in the examples by the author.

Link to the book:
https://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-Mo...0894864025

When I was at my rock bottom I tried to control other people, and felt as a real victim most of the time, as the world was against me. That is not true, but at that moment I didn't realize it, as it felt as true as anything else. But being in that dark place, I now can recognize when other people are showing the same symptoms that I did, e.g. trying to control other peoples behaviors, being susceptible to other peoples responses to things they say or do, etc. My own case of codependency is slowly dissolving and with it I am taking more responsibility for my own emotions and expect less of the outside world to make me feel in a certain way, for every day I feel more of myself, and feel more like myself. Things are starting to get more genuine and my relationships are improving, because I can now relate to other people and not look at them from inside my own shut-off world, I'm more able to be present in the moment that is happening, rather than try to "fight off" things that felt they were coming for me, being in constant defense-mode. I start find things I enjoy again and I am looking forward to doing things such as sports and cooking. It feels amazing, just writing this make me realize that I have come a long way from where I have been, and my healing journey have gotten to a point where I am myself starting to realize that results are happening and feel there is some momentum going on.

Codependency have also been in my life from my mothers side, who, the more I read the book, realize that she is codependent. What I learned over time, and also is in the book, is that I can't go around be understanding of codependency and try to adapt my behavior to make my mom feel better. It's a never ending "aiding process" to do that, I have to take care of myself and how I feel. I have no responsibility for her emotions and how she feel, however she react, she can be angry, sad, etc. but the only person that can break her feeling of hopelessness or despair will be herself in the end. Maybe it sounds hard, but this is how life should be lived, and should be. We cannot go around comfort each other, and give in to emotionally needy people. We have to take care of ourselves, this is so central and I have never understood it. And it takes time to change this habit of mine to be therefor other people, but I seek inspiration in other people who are emotionally healthy and trust the process, and I know that I will come out on the other side much happier and healthier. Victimization should never be fed.

Addition:

As I am reading about how codependent people can use shame to get what they want, I realized that my mother have been shaming me in taking care of my own emotional needs by telling me that was egoistic and not desirable. At that moment, I surely believed her, and I believe that some of my problems stem from this, as I still am working with overcoming the feeling of shame in my own emotional needs and in feeling pleasure for example. Her reasons for doing this, was that if I started to care for my own needs, I would no longer care for her needs. She often complain about that no one is thinking of her, which the author lay out as one characteristic of codependent people. Damn, this book shed so much light and put so many words on things that I have known but not being able to formulate myself.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

-> E2 journal
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Today, 03:33 AM (This post was last modified: Today 03:34 AM by Greenduck.)
Post: #84
RE: EHPRA 2.0 (Sub break - Wim hof, and more)
I have done some crying the latest days, and it felt natural, and good! Like I have long waited to finally get down to these emotions, I have missed them, missed that part of myself that is feeling - maybe something you can call my "emotional self".

I'm feeling better for each day, being able to communicate more with others, feel love for others and starting to feel somewhat peaceful inside. I have to tell you that it is amazing for me, to be able to start doing things again that I previously took so much for granted.

Almost finished "Codependent no more" and I can recommend it to almost anyone, it's like a "emotional handbook" which gave me many good points on how to continue my journey towards further emotional health.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

-> E2 journal
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply 


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread: Author Replies: Views: Last Post
  Alteration -- Kalmah0804's Emotional Healing & Others Journal (Sub Break/EMDR) kalmah0804 912 108,601 Today 07:18 PM
Last Post: Determined
  EHPRA free my journey [stay tuned] jazzrs 2 188 09-03-2017 05:53 AM
Last Post: Zane
Rainbow JAKE'S EHPRA 2.0 Jake2015 326 38,208 05-28-2017 10:35 AM
Last Post: Jake2015
  EHPRA 2.0 Journey to Liberation Gandolf85 17 1,831 02-26-2017 12:25 PM
Last Post: Gandolf85
  EHPRA Journal mat422 351 53,756 11-07-2016 04:08 AM
Last Post: mat422
  EHPRA V2: CatMan's Brother CatMan 13 1,744 09-29-2016 04:40 PM
Last Post: CatMan

Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread:
1 Guest(s)

Return to TopReturn to Content