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EHPRA 2.0 (Sub break - Wim hof, and more)
04-01-2017, 01:31 PM
Post: #21
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Hello Greenduck.

I can relate to having an "energy vampire" around you. For me, it is also a woman. She's beautiful, great brains, has real potential, but is a constant negative nancy buzzkill. Major victim mentality. It ends up canceling out all the good in her, to the point I just don't want any contact when she's acting that way. She's massively undervalued herself and her life is a shadow of what it could be as a result of all that mental toxicity.

No reason or interest to try to save people anymore, especially from themselves. You are your own person with your own life and issues, you aren't their psychiatrist, same conclusion I finally came to. Good insight.
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Tristian
04-04-2017, 08:45 AM (This post was last modified: 04-04-2017 11:31 AM by Greenduck.)
Post: #22
RE: EHPRA 2.0
(04-01-2017 01:31 PM)CatMan Wrote:  Hello Greenduck.

I can relate to having an "energy vampire" around you. For me, it is also a woman. She's beautiful, great brains, has real potential, but is a constant negative nancy buzzkill. Major victim mentality. It ends up canceling out all the good in her, to the point I just don't want any contact when she's acting that way. She's massively undervalued herself and her life is a shadow of what it could be as a result of all that mental toxicity.

No reason or interest to try to save people anymore, especially from themselves. You are your own person with your own life and issues, you aren't their psychiatrist, same conclusion I finally came to. Good insight.

Hello CatMan,

Hope for her that she find the desire to improve. All the resources are out there, available for everyone.

Status update

Emotionally: Better, more able to relax, better sleep
Mentally: Small improvements, but still tense, both thought-wise as well as physically in my head. My mind feels like it's in "overdrive" mode, due tp lack of energy. I feel some kind of blockage.
Physical energy: Still low, not much physical energy, feeling tired
Other notes: Wim-hof have been great, using it for around 2 months to this date.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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04-04-2017, 12:20 PM (This post was last modified: 04-04-2017 12:44 PM by Greenduck.)
Post: #23
RE: EHPRA 2.0
A while ago I started using AM 6.0 program and ran into some problems. I am trying to figure out what caused the problems for me, and why not other people have experienced the problems. I'll try to do some discussion of it in this post. All comments/thoughts on the subject are of interest.

Background:
I started doing AM really because I wanted to have a girl "secure" because of me obsessing over her (clearly I wasn't in a good place to start with). At the time I was deep into spirituality, meditation and smoking weed, no bad words to that, but at the time this wasn't what I needed.

The reason for the behavior, I latter have understood, was seeking comfort from emotional pain which I wasn't able to meet at the moment. With all facts on hand, I should have taken professional help to deal with it, at the moment I was in no state to take that on by myself.

Anyhow, I went with the AM even though everything in me told me to stop. Really, everything. I though of it as resistance, and just shut it out. Note here that I was clearly damaged, and shouldn't have done any subliminal program at all at the moment, but just rest and be around my family and friends.

But I pushed on, in some kind of delirious state that "soon the resistance will let go and I will become an true Alpha Male and everything will be fine". Hell no, things became worse. I lost track of time, went into some kind of place where my mind was in total panic for very long periods of time. I started to shut down, my body didn't as normal anymore. I lost contact with my emotions, I was a walking train wreckage, confused and drained of all energy. The whole period stretched for about 1,5 years, which is a very long time in this kind of state.

Today
It have been a long way back to "normal", just getting back in shape after such self-torture that I put myself through. I am amazed by my own effort to get back to where I am today, especially as I for a while totally lost sense of "self", literally. In spiritual terms I had a full-chakra-shut-off. I was closer to not being alive than being alive.

Chakras have been a way for me to understand what happened, and how to get back to normal. One of the chakras is called "crown" chakra which is providing energy to the mind and overall nervous system in the body. Today, in my work with bringing myself back to health, the crown is one of the chakras currently targeted.

The closing of the crown chakra was horrible for me at the moment, as the mind was the only this I "had", emotionals, physical strenght, everything else was shut down. When the crown shut down, I truly lost my mind for a while and never thought I would be the same again.

Reading online I found a "cause" for crown-chakra blockage being:

CAUSES
You'll have experienced or will be experiencing some of the following; Withheld information, education that suppressed curiosity, forced religiosity, invalidation of one's beliefs, blind obedience (no right to question or think for oneself), misinformation, lies and spiritual abuse.

Which is what I believed I put myself through by blasting the subliminal at the rate I did, forcing myself to listen as it was "the only way out".

I lost contact with my own wisdom, and blindly started to trusting another belief system which made my whole individual run havoc.

And on a more grounded note: I was stressed as hell and an emotional wreck at the time. As I understand AM can be pretty stressful, and at the time I was 1) emotionally unstable and stressed as is and 2) didn't think straight.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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kalmah0804
04-04-2017, 03:50 PM
Post: #24
RE: EHPRA 2.0
This last post resonated A LOT with me. Since starting subs I have gone through SO MUCH emotional turmoil. I keep on thinking that it's all just resistance, and that *eventually*, if I keep on pushing through, it will all just miraculously dissolve and I will be executing all of the life-affirming programs I've run over the years at 100%.

Would you say that E2 has helped ground you and brought you back in touch with yourself? I feel like since subs have started I truly don't know who or what I am anymore... I just feel so lost, like my identity is far weaker than it ever has been before.

Like snowfall, you cry a silent storm
Your tears paint rivers on this oaken wall. . .


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04-04-2017, 05:02 PM
Post: #25
RE: EHPRA 2.0
(04-04-2017 03:50 PM)kalmah0804 Wrote:  This last post resonated A LOT with me. Since starting subs I have gone through SO MUCH emotional turmoil. I keep on thinking that it's all just resistance, and that *eventually*, if I keep on pushing through, it will all just miraculously dissolve and I will be executing all of the life-affirming programs I've run over the years at 100%.

Would you say that E2 has helped ground you and brought you back in touch with yourself? I feel like since subs have started I truly don't know who or what I am anymore... I just feel so lost, like my identity is far weaker than it ever has been before.

Hello Kalmah,

I understand what you say, and I can see how my previous post resonate with what you are experiencing. You are always you in your heart. No subliminal, trauma of anything can take that away. You have just drifted off and lost contact. You need to come "back to normal". That's it. Notice how I phrase it as "come back" and not "arrive".

In my case (and maybe your too), what caused me to drift off was that I was using subliminals like a life-raft, and not as a tool as they are intended to be. This took quiet a while for me to understand, but what was most important was to admit that the situation had gotten out of hand, and that I needed some other approach to solve my situation.

My decision was to take a break from subliminals as they had gotten way to much of my mental attention. By the way I was using them, the energy in my body was mostly in my head, making me go around thinking, rather than "being".

My mind needed a break to wind down, and I needed to focus on other parts of my body. I have worked with a breathing exercise called "wim-hof" (you can find a thread about it in the chatter-box-section) which have helped me to release and open up my abdomen and chest area, now using it 2 months, and now breathing naturally deeply and feel relaxed in my body.

And I have come back a lot towards "back to normal" and feeling OK emotionally and starting to recognize myself again. Much thanks to wim-hof and focusing on healing my heart. And I can tell you I have been in a place so far off, I never believe anything could come back to normal, but it sure can.

Your mind is in overdrive and is trying to find a solution to itself, making you loose contact with the "you" that always is there.

Take care!

//Greenduck

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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04-06-2017, 02:36 PM
Post: #26
RE: EHPRA 2.0
If someone us blaming you and continue to do so (for how they feel, that something isn't working, etc) and you:

1) Don't act as an ashole
2) Have your own problems that need to be addressed and have explained this openly

You shouldn't not be putting this blame on yourself. It may be rooted in the other persons own problems.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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04-07-2017, 08:36 AM (This post was last modified: 04-07-2017 08:47 AM by Greenduck.)
Post: #27
RE: EHPRA 2.0
After going to my 2nd acupuncture session, and starting to do root-chakra meditation, I have been able to release tension I have felt on top of my head. My mind feels more open again and I'm more present in my body. Much of the problems I have felt, have been due to the tensions I held in what I believe is my crown chakra. But to be able to release it, I had to work with my lower chakras (which I find pretty non-intuitive), which I got from reading a blog on chakra work.

Working with chakras really resonate with me, and I realize that many of the issues are rooted in my lower chakras. I have for example not been able to trust my relationships and felt uncertainness in belonging, and much of my behavior have been guided to get around this feeling, rather than addressing the uncertain feeling in itself. Feels nice to know that this is not "who I am" but rather an imbalance that I can worked with.

I have ordered a book on chakras to educate myself further on the subject called Eastern body, western mind by Anodea Judith, who have been credited on her writings on chakras and psychology. The book is combining eastern philosophies on chakas with western Jungian pshchology. I always believe that your understanding on a subject can be more profound if you combine two or more ways to look at it, why I am looking forward on this reading on a subject that already have gotten my interest.

The book:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/5763...stern_Mind

Quote:In EASTERN BODY, WESTERN MIND, chakra authority Anodea Judith brought a fresh approach to the yoga-based Eastern chakra system, adapting it to the Western framework of Jungian psychology, somatic therapy, childhood developmental theory, and metaphysics

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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04-08-2017, 06:32 AM
Post: #28
RE: EHPRA 2.0
A quote which spoke to me:

Quote:If you are finding tough times in you growing with trust, stability or security; then probably you are searching for something in the branches which appears to be in the root. All you need to do is, concentrate the energy that is present in the root chakra, try out the acts which help you open the root chakra or the Muladhara and experience the change in you, your presence and stability of being grounded by the roots

Source: https://www.epainassist.com/chakra/how-t...-muladhara

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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04-10-2017, 06:04 AM (This post was last modified: 04-10-2017 06:10 AM by Greenduck.)
Post: #29
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Read about a guy on the forum that suffer from PIED and it started to make me think about a theory I have on porn addiction.

Let say that there is a chakra-system, which is basically a system of dividing an individual into different components, in this case by labeling it by saying that at any given moment, what we do, why we do it, is because of how we are balanced energetically. I'm starting to grasp the concept, so I'll do the analysis from what I understand at this point.

So porn addiction is foremost a compulsory habit. You do it, because you have an urge to do it and you fall for this urge and perform the action. It's really a mental thing, comparable to people who need to switch on and off the light-switch when they enter a room 3 times with their left hand. Something trigger the "porn-street" in your head - something you read, that you feel lonely, that you feel stressed, etc and you walk down the porn-street and the longer you walk down the harder it become to resist, until you finally zip down your pants and pop-up an incognito browser-window.

So to overcome the habit of watching porn (insert your own reason) you can target the issue by becoming better at not walking down porn-street just by training yourself mentally, just the way that tennis or golf-players train themselves mentally in keeping a positive mindset, not letting their anger get to them when they loose a point, etc. They keep their feet on the right path, by keeping their head straight. Pretty easy? Stop watching porn, learn to resist the urge, and get your mental game straight. A lot of benefits by doing this, because you learn to control your actions and therefore will have an easier time to be one-step-ahead in general.

So why is this mental thing so powerful? Why is it so hard to resist the urge and keep your pant on. Why do it take so much energy just to control your mind?

- Because the mind control you, rather than the other way around. At least at this specific thing that you have lost control around, be it porn, smoking or gambling.

By having an addiction in your life, you are promoting a behavior which is short-sighted and are seeking something from the outside to comfort you on the inside. We all are guilty to this more or less, but it is our responsibility to take care of ourselves, short out stuff that are working against us to become driven from the inside, find what we enjoy doing, and genuinely connect with the people around us. The mind is an amazing thing if we use it, not if we are being used by it.

Oh yeah the chakra thing - Our 2nd chakra (sacral chakra) is our "emotional self", it's with this that we can connect with other people, getting to know who they are on an emotional plane. On a deeper level. When you have a "feeling" of how to connect to someone, rather than thinking of how to get to know them. All this are inside of us, but we have lost contact with it being so occupied with thinking, falling for our mental urges and keeping this up, that keeps us from feeling ourselves, what we are like, and how we feel different from others.

Then, we don't have to find our uniqueness, our identities and how we are different from others, because we already understand and feel that we are different on a more profound level, everything else just become a journey of higher self-exploration, rather than a required measure.

Long post Smile

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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04-10-2017, 06:34 AM (This post was last modified: 04-10-2017 06:36 AM by Greenduck.)
Post: #30
RE: EHPRA 2.0
This latest year have really sucked, big-time. And for some reason I think that the way I used subliminals in the beginning really was even more detrimental to my downward-spiral.

I stopped listening to my own higher guidance, about what I should do, and solely trusted that the subliminal would "guide" me. Don't even know what that is supposed to mean if I'm to be honest.

Anyway, I just crammed the subliminal and didn't stop, which I believe made my crown-chakra to close and get blocked (the place that we get intuition and inspiration from, about what we should to next, etc. This is also connected to our own belief system.

Somehow I feel that subliminals, if not used in your own pace, can present a blockage in an individual, as he or she look for others opinions rather than trusting his or hers own wisdom.

But I am sure that there is much things that subliminals can be helping with, such as emotional problems, changing mindset, as long as it is used alongside your own guidance and not as a replacement for it I think you are good to go.

Anyway the blockage I have been experiencing have been substantial, and I am finally coming out from it and can tell you that it has been some challenge to get back to normal. So if you are feeling pain in your head, LISTEN and stop. These subliminals are powerful and should always be used after your own best judgement (which I clearly lacked when I didn't listen to the warning-signals).

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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04-11-2017, 12:35 PM (This post was last modified: 04-11-2017 01:44 PM by Greenduck.)
Post: #31
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Before shit hit the fan, I could do things that I can't do right now, and I have to face that situation to aid my current recovery.

Previously, I was a people-comforter-professional. I made other good by reading the situation, understand what they liked and adapted part of my personality to make them comfortable.

Now, I can't barely take care of my own comfort, I'm just not used to putting my attention to what I need. Previously life just went on, I could comfort other people, no problemas in particular, life went on and I just kept on going. So this have been a huge change for me. As if I don't have the energy to support a big part of my personality which is the - other people pleaser. I still can read from the situation what other people like, but now I have to change focus to what I need and like. Surely a big change.

And even though that people around me know that I have been facing a depression, they still are very used to the way I have behaved over the years. It's like I am in a current transition where I previously focused on what other people needed towards focusing on what I need, but I'm so unfamiliar with this, combined with that I feel like shit, that the transition is somewhat "not so smooth" to give a slight understatement.

Learning to balance this own emotions/others is a new thing as I previously treated emotional energy as something that just should be spread as much as it can, and making people feel good at every moment was something of my "duty". But sure as it is a great capability. it have to be used with moderation and balance to be sustainable, as with everything else. One challenge is that people around me are used to the way I have been before, and so am I. It's like no one of us know how to act, when I am not being the way I was before.

This feels like a really big deal (Even though I know it's not), and right now I just don't know what the hell I need anyway, just like I'm in some kind of transitional vacuum.

But to put some positive energy into the post, I have felt small pushes of liking to do stuff again (felt for a while to play the piano today), which I find as a sign that the progress continue to be positive.

EDIT:
What I mean with focusing on my needs, are ultimately learning to focus on supporting my emotions rather than other peoples emotions.

EDIT 2:
Let's say that there is a way to connect with others, not based on emotion, sharing a thought, but just feeling in understanding with each other. I lack that right now, like I'm not able to "reach" to others (and point here that it's not emotionally, but i don't know...spiritually? I feel disconnected somehow. Even though it's temporary, it's taking a toll on me.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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04-11-2017, 02:43 PM (This post was last modified: 04-11-2017 02:53 PM by Greenduck.)
Post: #32
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Feeling for some writing, probably most of what I'm writing is just a bunch of bullsh*t but what the hell.

I miss feeling the ability to connect with others on a higher plane, on some share understanding, sharing a belief system, finding interaction points where we understand the world the same way. Discussing, figuring things out, sharing the point of view, battling it, finding common understanding and expanding upon it and looking at it from different sides.

On another point, during this period of not feeling great, I have gained perspective on how other people have looked at me during the years. For many I have been a pretty "cool" guy, even though I never looked at myself that way. Many friends, great social skills, happy, confident. And sure I have been all those things, but I never realized that anyone looked at me that way. When dabbling about how other people perceived me (I've been pretty self-conscious) I most of the time assumed they saw the worst in me, all my insecurities and stuff that I didn't want to show.

Furthermore, I was the guy who people confide in when they ran into problems, and trusted in. They still probably do, but it's hard to be for other people when you are struggling in being there just for yourself, and you shouldn't.

It must have been a giant change for many seeing this happy guy, suddenly break down, disappear from the grid, and loose all confidence in himself. I couldn't even believe it myself, but it really happened. Like sewer-total-trainwreckage-crash. I didn't deserve this, but it happened and the only think I could do was to look at it as a gift, and looking at what I could learn from it. And I sure did, but heck I didn't deserve this shit. So let's just instead look at it from the side that God changed to "hard-mode" on his PES just to see what would happen.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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04-11-2017, 04:20 PM
Post: #33
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Remember Rule 4 Greenduck.
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04-11-2017, 05:01 PM
Post: #34
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Point taken mod.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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Benjamin
04-12-2017, 01:17 AM
Post: #35
RE: EHPRA 2.0
I'm having a case of being ungrounded. That's it, most of my problems are residing from this. Mentally, all the energy stay in my head beacause it has nowhere else to go.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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04-13-2017, 07:34 AM (This post was last modified: 04-13-2017 07:37 AM by Greenduck.)
Post: #36
RE: EHPRA 2.0
During my acupuncture session today i felt something releasing, like a tension that released itself in my head. I feel clearer now afterwards, as I am more present with my thoughts.

It's clear that I have some kind of blockage in head/neck region as I am often stuck in my head rather than being present in my whole self with emotions, body and what more it is.

Read 1/3 of the book already (eastern boy, western mind) - can really recommend it for anyone, not just people curing from depression or something, it's really educative in just general life-knowledge.

Got advise from my acupuncturer that I should dress more warm and sauna at least 2 times a week.

Also started to drink 1 cup of green tea a day, maybe it'll aid my mental tension.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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04-14-2017, 03:42 PM (This post was last modified: 04-14-2017 03:43 PM by Greenduck.)
Post: #37
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Nothing makes any sense to me, like the bits are not fitting together. It's like i don't hold the glue that are needed to make existence comprehensive. Things come in and out of my awareness, and when they don't, there is simply just time flowing, and bits and pieces of information flowing, but not coming through.

The contours are inseparable, trying to find answers for questions relating to my own state just give more questions. My thoughts are deep but I can't get them to surface, as I can't put them into their own perspective, I'm still down inside of them, and to me it makes sense, but taking a step back it's just nonsense without any context.

It feels like I am "to smart for myself", always dabbling with thoughts, looking for patterns and finding a deeper meaning has colored my way of thinking and being, but as the mental capacity is no longer there, the search for deeper mening only confuses me and make me feel like I am grasping for straws where there are none, and in turn questioning my own sanity.

There must be an end to this, I know there is, but the only thing I can to is trust, keep on and having faith in it, even though I cannot summon faith I have to trust it's concept.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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04-16-2017, 07:18 AM (This post was last modified: 04-16-2017 07:24 AM by Greenduck.)
Post: #38
RE: EHPRA 2.0
i have felt damn ungrounded for a long while, and just been "out of touch" with myself and everything around me.

The more time goes and as I read into the subject, the more it make sense that I lost contact with my lower chakras and that my energy just went straight up into my head and upper chakras.

Been doing Tai Chi every day and I feel that the physical exercise do good work in "opening" up the lower chakras (root and chakral). I also feel more contact with my body and feeling it's heaviness as well as getting more in contact with my own emotions, even though that I have to fight the urge to try to find comfort from the outside. Read a quote that said "true self-esteem come from your own emotions".

For a while I was all into doing stuff that just stimulate upper chakras, as I tried to flee from my own emotions as they felt to painful to deal with. Tried opening 3d eye, doing all this visualizations and I was just very much...off track and lost touch with reality. And to start running AM when feeling that way, is not an good idea. Yeah well feels like I tried to explain my situation a 1000 times now, but for every time it just feels more clear and coherent to myself.

Still feel numbness on top of my head and like I am "spacey" not really able to get my head around things, but feel better physically and starting to feel again. Working with the basics, and working my way up.

EDIT: My last post is a clear example when I get "spacey" and try to figure stuff out, just up all in my head. That is not making anything better, better idea (note to self) if I feel that way, is just to go for a walk or make a cup of tea and go to bed and trust that everything will get better the next day. You will be able to figure things out and use your brains soon, but right now you are just dribbling yourself away Smile Get better!

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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04-16-2017, 11:00 AM
Post: #39
RE: EHPRA 2.0
It feels like I'm starting to be able to take a step back and not being so damn occupied with my problems all the time, but to lift my head and see a bit further. Like a cone that is slowly lifted from my eyes.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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04-16-2017, 12:37 PM
Post: #40
RE: EHPRA 2.0
your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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