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EHPRA 2.0 (Sub break - Wim hof, and more)
02-24-2017, 06:00 AM (This post was last modified: 10-06-2017 12:34 PM by Greenduck.)
Post: #1
EHPRA 2.0 (Sub break - Wim hof, and more)
Why I'm here:
Break-up with girlfriend created high distress, not knowing how to deal with the emotions I turned to abusing drugs, partying and developing a "don't care" attitude about most things, which resulted in even more self-destructive habits, more drugs and resort to spiritual books which I believed could save me from something. Instead of realizing what had happened, and get help, i started to work in a high prestige-job, got more stressed out, got memory-problems, wasn't able to handle work, more-stress, and the spiral got out of hand. Contemplated suicide, was very confused. Mind and emotions stirred up.

Quit my job, moved back to my parents, rented out my apartment and had to start over. Just learn to relax again, not being in constant stressed-mode (damn hate just writing about this stuff).

I learned to listen to my body again in some way, like I got contact again with my body and not just my mind.

I was in this state for about 9-10 months, I can't really remember, the memories are fuzzy. I run E2 for a while, but at my stage of burn-out pressing subliminals in your mind, which is already burned-out was maybe that even to much, but I did it during a time. As I said, can't really remember. Things very f*cked, and I believed that they would never be repairable. Lost connection with my parents, forget who I was, couldn't even make a phonecall to a friend. Pretty f*cked, yes.

But here I am. 12 months later, starting to enjoy things again and I see that I can be fully recovered, even though it may take 6 months more. I realize why some of my initial problems surfaced and E2 have been great at helping me see these problems. Now I'm just about getting healthy, realeasing the tensions in my body, doing stuff and hanging out with people.

Some other concrete effects:
  • No longer feel desire to smoke
  • No longer feel same strong desire to look at pornography
  • Found stuff that I enjoy doing
  • Better sleep

First reflection:
A while ago, when I wrote journal-entries I could look at the text and ask "who is this guy who wrote this", like it was shattered in some way. Previously I enjoyed being thoughtful in things i said and did, having a reasoning behind most things, but as the mind-fog came, this ability was harder to bring out, so I mostly wrote things that poped up in the moment, rather than being thought through (maybe you can see this in the way I wright right now), but it definitely have become better. Even though that the text feels flat, not very compelling, more like a IKEA-manual and an recitement than something real. Well, still much better than 2 months or even 1 month ago.
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CatMan, GrizzlyBear
02-24-2017, 06:05 AM
Post: #2
RE: EHPRA 2.0
E2 is fantastic.

I got great benefit from it, it helped me with two key things in my life. It was tough to see other effects, it's very subtle but over time it's effects can become clear. I only switched to DMSI V2.2 because clearing and healing were included for my issues. If it wasn't for that, I'd still be on E2! I bought DMSI/AOSI opening day V1 to support Shannon, but stayed on E2 until V2.2 came along with healing/clearing.

Now I have my brother running E2 for a bit over 4 months, and he is getting great benefit. Have a great run, Greenduck!
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eternity, GrizzlyBear
02-24-2017, 03:59 PM (This post was last modified: 02-24-2017 04:04 PM by Greenduck.)
Post: #3
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Reflected some about the differences between before, during my depression and current state in regards of social ability:

I enjoy being in social situations, talking to different kind of people and just being social, including those that may be quiet, joking around and making other people have a good time. I'm generally friendly to almost all people.

But that changed during the depression. I couldn't be that guy for a while, i just didn't had the energy inside me that I needed to get going, it was like a circuit had been short circuited. Much things sucked during the depression but this was a huge deal for me.

Don't know what i want to say with this, more than just get it off my chest, haven't talked about anyone about it.

So that is a major thing that I'm looking forward getting back to.
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GrizzlyBear
02-24-2017, 04:13 PM
Post: #4
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Welcome back green duck. How long did you end up running e2 for?

ENFP ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Master Of All Trades. Jack of None.
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02-24-2017, 04:17 PM
Post: #5
RE: EHPRA 2.0
(02-24-2017 04:13 PM)eternity Wrote:  Welcome back green duck. How long did you end up running e2 for?

Thanks. Around 10 months, now having a break of about 2 months. Hindsight would have done it differently, for example:

2 weeks on
2 weeks off
2 weeks on
2 weeks off
1 month on
1 month off
2 months on
1 month off
2 months on
1 month off
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eternity
02-25-2017, 12:33 PM
Post: #6
RE: EHPRA 2.0
I noticed that my e2 results bloomed when I stopped running it. The 2 weeks that followed were amazing. But stopping E2 in the middle of an intense clearing session was not a wise choice. Depression set in hardcore!!!!!!!!!!

But 10 months is quite a while. I commend you for having run it that long. And I loved reading your testimony too. Your story is kinda sorta similar to mine so it hit home for me.

ENFP ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Master Of All Trades. Jack of None.
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GrizzlyBear
02-25-2017, 01:34 PM
Post: #7
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Nice Smile Are you still running it? I think that the program is set so that you know how to run it yourself, if you take a break, you are ment to do it, take it slowly but steadily, no hurry in healing, if it takes time, it need to take time.

If you are still in for healing, I can recommend the "wim hof method". It's a guy who is know as the "ice-man" and can prolong i really cold waters for a really long time. The method is basically breating exercises combined with cold-showers which are directed in getting more contact with your body and energetic body.

I'm doing the breathing exercises at the moment and they are great, hard to explain the effects, better to try it for yourself Smile IF you are interested this is how I do them:

Lay down on the side (easier that way) and just relax your breating. Note here is that the more times you do this, the more you get to "know" your breating and how the breath feels and you learn to use the breath to dissolve tensions in the body.

Feel how different breaths feel, expanding your chest like a ballon, and compare it to expanding your abdomen. Realize that you can breathe through your abdomen when you are relaxed and just get used to the feeling of breathing that way (this is the way that you should breathe regularly, but few people do this).

Get used to it, don't try to force anything or think about how it should be done. You already know instincively, you just have to get used to yourself and the more you do this the more obvious it will feel.

When you got a hold of the breathing in the abdomen part, breathe 30 times this way, slowly blowing up the abdomen as a baloon. Do it relaxed, go by your "gut" feeling Wink. Then after 30 times, relax and empty the baloon, still relaxed, just let the air slowly go out from it, and then hold until you feel that you need to take a breathe. Breathe in, as much as you feel like, and hold 30 seconds.

Do this 3 times.

(30 breathe, hold on "empty balloon", fill with air as you like and hold) * 3

This is a comfortable exercise. It should feel pleasant. Its you getting to know your body, so enjoy it. Don't force it. The key is to do it. And do it again. And do it again. No hustle, no sweat. I printed out a calendar and check every day when I done it.

After you feel ready, (its all about taking it in YOUR tempo) this can be combined with cold-showers and physical exercises as push-ups. But as wim hof say - do it in your own pase, never force or stress things.

Sorry for ranting, just going to bed Smile
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GrizzlyBear
02-28-2017, 11:33 AM (This post was last modified: 02-28-2017 11:33 AM by Greenduck.)
Post: #8
RE: EHPRA 2.0
I have come a LONG way compared to where i was just 6 months ago. Amazing.

But I have a blockage left, that is located in my nack and back of my head. It's like I can't think straight because there is a blockage there, there is no energy provided. I've learned to focus my awareness to the parts of my body where the blockages. It's working, but its working slowly and sometimes if feels just worthless and like it's never going to become better, but even though that I'm not able to think straight, it become better for every day, slowly but steadily. But it's frustrating, and I have to remember to convince myself to keep going, have patience and take care of myself. My sleep is better, so is my appetite.

On the emotional side, it's hard to talk about my emotions and I have a hard time being emotional and showing my emotions to others. I have always been like that, even though I feel like now that I am more aware of it I can work more consciously to getting better at it, but it is just so...revealing and intense.
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cataleya
03-02-2017, 01:18 PM (This post was last modified: 03-02-2017 01:19 PM by Greenduck.)
Post: #9
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Starting to see healing benefits from wim-hof.

Finding that my well-being is affected by the amount of thinking spent on "what-if-scenarios". The Nordic proverb "dig where you stand" sums it up pretty good.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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03-08-2017, 03:45 AM
Post: #10
RE: EHPRA 2.0
A lot of healing + insights during the last weeks.

I'm feeling healthier overall and the situation is clearly in a positive direction. I still have problems with thinking and concentration. It take large amount of conscious effort to stay on track in a conversation, but at least I can do it with conscious effort, earlier it has been totally impossible. Related to that is that the tension I have felt in my nack and especially in the back of my head is slowly dissolving.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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Zane
03-10-2017, 11:31 AM (This post was last modified: 03-10-2017 11:33 AM by Greenduck.)
Post: #11
RE: EHPRA 2.0
The island i'm on is starting to get bigger, I can feel the sand under my toes again, and feel the wind in my face again. The search for rescue almost drove me to leave and try to find it. The desire for familiarity visited me from time to time, to find something on the outside that made me remember. Remember who I was, remember what I had forgotten.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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Benjamin
03-17-2017, 04:35 AM (This post was last modified: 03-17-2017 09:56 AM by Greenduck.)
Post: #12
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Today counts 365 days since i started E2, and I have made a huge progress in this year. Stopped with E2 about 2 months ago, and not sure, but I think I can still "hear" the script playing in form of tinnitus that "pauses" in the same way as the "overload" function or what it is called in the subliminal.

Physically and spiritually I am a lot more back in the game. I can do push-ups, go out for jogs so that is really great! I feel better inside, I'm no longer depressed "by default", but more neutral. My body is stronger and I made progress with the wim-hof method. The "emotional-stamina" is limited, but I think that it is improving. So that is the good part, which is fenomenal just in itself. I can feel joy, watch a movie and enjoy it, laugh at a joke, listen to music and enjoy it, yeah you get it - this part is awesome!

Mentally, i'm not back fully. I'm not really "there". It's like my brain have been put on 10 % of it's capacity. I have problems finding words, "understanding" what is happening (like a conversation) - this result in that I can take things personally, that probably aren't directed that way. I have a hard time "rationalizing" things and well you know, just use my head and think. So this part sucks, but I think that it is slowly becoming better. Physically it have recently manifested numb feeling in the top, back, and back inside of my head, compared to the feeling you get when you sit on your leg for a while and it falls "asleep." During this year I have experienced this "numbness"-feeling in different parts of my body, and by focusing on that part and just being patient, it has gradually disappeared. Probably will be the same for this part, but I am intrigued to see what the reason is behind the numbness and know what is happening.

So now I'm trying to reinforce positive emotions, regular exercise, good and varied diet with home cooked food and good sleep (which when I now mention it has become much better in the past couple of weeks), and do my best to work with getting back with myself mentally.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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chaosvrgn
03-17-2017, 09:57 AM (This post was last modified: 03-17-2017 09:59 AM by Greenduck.)
Post: #13
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Oh yeah some training stats, interesting to see how they develop:

March -17

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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03-18-2017, 12:01 PM (This post was last modified: 03-18-2017 12:01 PM by Greenduck.)
Post: #14
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Started to feel effects from the wim-hof method. Wrote a post about it in "the chatter box":

http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-8620.html

[Image: wimhofmethod-770x300.jpg]

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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03-19-2017, 03:43 PM (This post was last modified: 03-19-2017 05:56 PM by Greenduck.)
Post: #15
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Overall good mood. Went to a piano concert last night and I could really enjoy the music and the whole setting.

I can really feel the tension around my head now. It's like the muscles on the outside of the head, especially on the sides of the head that are tense. It doesn't hurt, it's just very tense and I'm working my way though the tension. I'm getting some indications of that my thinking is improved, as new ideas have popped up and some creative thinking thinking which have been limited for a while. Thinking has been limited, as finding yourself in a small box, where to much make you bash I to the walls, but the box is growing as the tension is released. Still some difficulties with falling asleep. As with regulation of emotions.

Overall my circulation have become decent, but still some areas which easily get very cold (arms and shoulders, and top of my feet), also feeling tense in calves when standing up, and also a bit tense in thighs. Will be interesting to see what benefits I will get from the wim-hof method. Circulation to head is also probably not optimal, as i don't feel "in touch" with it as i do with e.g. my torso at this moment. Had some release tonight in my underarms which stretched toward my little-finger on both right and left side, felt like a strong inside the arm was stretched out.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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03-21-2017, 03:45 AM (This post was last modified: 03-21-2017 06:48 AM by Greenduck.)
Post: #16
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Some info for myself to compare to in the future (which I guess most of the post probably are at this moment).

- During my morning wim-hof breathing session I could sense how i have tensions in my arms that are dissolving. Also could feel that the energy is drawn upwards to the back of the head, like there is some kind of blockage there. Something that I can feel but not reach, physically and energetically.

- During the morning shower I can really feel how my circulation all over the body is low. Cold water feels extremely cold and I need long warm water afterwards to help myself to warm up again. Again, When relaxed, I can feel this tension in the back of the head.

- Still some sensitivity to harsh sounds like plates and forks bumping together.

- Emotional stability around 3/10, before it would be around 7-8/10

- Going to some kind of healer tomorrow to see what can be done regarfing the tension in the head. It feels like "my energy/spirit/feeling/whatever" is cut or because of the tension, also explaining the overall heightenedsensitivity . I figure a healing session maybe could assist in dissolving the tensions.

- Have looked into using akupunkture to get get rid of my pollenallergies. Would be awesome if it'd work.

- Another reference point to compare is that the loud way my dad eats and chews make me feel irritated. Shouldn't be that big of a disturbance as it is for me right now.
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03-25-2017, 08:50 AM (This post was last modified: 03-25-2017 08:54 AM by Greenduck.)
Post: #17
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Things are turning more positive, yesterday I went out for the first time in a long time and hanged out with some friends and had the energy to stay with them for a couple of hours, which is a great improvement!

I also made some improvement in releasing the tension in my neck, and my thinking has become somewhat more clearer. Bit, by bit I am moving towards being healthy and working as normal again.

I also started to do Tai Chi a couple of day ago, which so far feels great and really work in relaxing and using the whole body.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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GrizzlyBear
03-28-2017, 04:44 PM
Post: #18
RE: EHPRA 2.0
I have been trying to heal in the wrong place for a while. I divide my healing into the seven chakras as I find it easy to relate and anaylze from.

Crown: was very tense, feeling lost. Now much better. Have helped going to a healer to relax.thos part.

Third eye: semi-blocked. Have limited cognitive abilities such as problem solving, planning, etc.

Throat:blocked/real voice . Seldom seen with my real voice and say what I want. May be connected to blockage in sacral chakra.

Heart: overactive/hurt due to very high and long exposure to stress. Healing bit by bit, using running and had some effects with wim Hof breathing.

Solar plexus: was damaged/inactive. Activated through wim Hof

Sacral: semi-blocked. Relationships have been suffering because of that I have has problems relating to anyone emotionally. Opening with conscious effort. Wim hof have helped.

Root: have been closed. Now semi-open I think. Working with tai chi has had effects.

Looking forward to sacral activity with more creativity and being able to have emotional healthy connections to others again.

Over and out

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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03-30-2017, 08:57 AM (This post was last modified: 03-30-2017 09:04 AM by Greenduck.)
Post: #19
RE: EHPRA 2.0
Feel good in my body, pretty relaxed. Tai Chi starts to become a nice thing to do.

Still tense in my head and working with releasing that tension. I can feel how the physical tension is connected to the stress-levels the mind experience, which is a obvious relationship, but still an interesting conclusion that I have not been able to understand.

Went for a acupuncture session today for allergy relief (summer is coming up), in which I got really relaxed and almost fell asleep during the session which was nice Big Grin.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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04-01-2017, 09:18 AM (This post was last modified: 04-01-2017 09:52 AM by Greenduck.)
Post: #20
RE: EHPRA 2.0
A negative person in my life is making me feel like shit. Not like being aweful and telling bad things, but it's just some really negative energy that I take up being around this person. It is awful, as I care for the person, and know that she is a good person inside, but I just feel like shit and become an asshole around her. She is just so damn negative and have a victim mindset, talking badly about other people and really crave attention. I have tried as best as I can to create a relationship with her, but she just project awful negative energy towards me when done (probably subconsciously) and she would flip if I would ever mention something like that (empirically tested)

In my normal state, I can handle this. I can start a discussion with her on some subject, as she has a gift in discussing different topics and are intelligent, or when feeling good I can even share some of my energy with her (bad idea probably as it may be this that have started the habit that I am a "energy source"). But now, I just don't have the energy or mental "capacity" to do it.

Plus side: Went in the forests for a walk today and I could really be present in nature.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

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