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DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
12-10-2017, 08:54 PM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2017 11:51 AM by Razib1988.)
Post: #1
DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
DMSI 3.1A - Start Date: November 3, 2017

Initial run - 2 loops a day for 3/4 days. Been running Hybrid Trickling version. Jumped to 7 loops (only during sleep) for a few weeks. Experienced foggy brain that was unable to process information at work. Also, huge tiredness dragged my productivity to zero. So I decided to do six loops and felt a lot more ease. Last week on Friday, a good female friend stopped by my place and we smoked weed together. I went down on her three months ago when her boyfriend wasn't around. She hadn't had sex in three weeks so wanted to have an orgasm. That's how I ended up giving her my tongue. She smokes weed regularly. I wanted to snipe her but it didn't work. I tried to escalate by touching, watching sex ed videos, talking about rough sex (pulled her hair from the root at one point) and such. She put up the resistance and told boldly that she didn't want to be touched. After that, she left. Didn't play DMSI that night as the weed effect needed to go away. I wonder since she is a regular weed smoker, if the anti sniper kicked in. That weekend was horrible as I was down to 2 loops only for two days and experienced immense resistance (broke down to tears multiple times). Then got back on 6 loops again. I haven't experienced any major aura but sometimes my body gets heated up by some mythical source. Not too many IOIs from attractive women.

Razib
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12-11-2017, 03:02 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2017 11:54 AM by Razib1988.)
Post: #2
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
My speaker went ham and woke me up after running 6 loops of version A. Had a few dreams. It's bizarre that the more loops I play, the more I forget my dreams. During 2 loops, I could remember what I saw in my dreams. Tonight I saw that I was about to be slaughtered. I don't remember why or by who. Also had a few wet dreams. Previously before DMSI, I would wet my pants while foreplay in my dreams (also it's a real life problem for me). But last week, in one of those 2 loops days, I actually saw that I was banging a girl and I didn't ejaculate in a while. Ben said it was a good sign and DMSI is training my brain and sailing it towards sex. But man! It gets soooo frustrating sometimes! Girls are everywhere but no girl for me! It's funny that the society says girls like nice guys that don't **** around with other girls. Before joining my new work, I went on a two-week road trip by myself and approached tons of girls and had so much fun. I posted them on my snapchat and girls that I approached before and gave me shit would hit me up and ask me to hang out! My friend that I talked about in the earlier post, got tongued down by me after I got back from the trip. Since then, she has been getting more distant. My life is revolving around going to work, hitting the gym, and mourning for not having sex. Why would she hang out with me when I'm not fun anymore? I'm getting fatigued by 4PM everyday! DMSI healing/clearing is kicking my ass. I don't have the motivation to go out and meet new people. Don't know if it is healing/clearing. Right now my situation:

Social circle: non-existent
Sexual Market Value: -ve

I keep asking myself: why would a girl exchange fluids with me?

Razib
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12-11-2017, 06:01 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2017 11:54 AM by Razib1988.)
Post: #3
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
Something dawned in me this morning. I wonder if me approaching women reverses the effectiveness of the script and women get repulsed as a result. Shannon/Ben could you please give me an input on that? I'm so programmed to approaching women! Last night at the grocery store, I approached 5 women. There was only one that became receptive and we had a good chat. She complained about her boyfriend pushing for getting married. I told her he was feeling insecure so he wanted to lock her down. Other approaches blew me off within minutes. Right now, I'm feeling so down. So down. Having super anxious feeling in my stomach and want to cry out loud. I spent the whole weekend being a couch potato. I remember back in the day, a year ago, I would be super pumped to go out on the weekend. Bars and clubs used to be my den where I would hit on women with my wingman. I don't feel like doing it anymore. Is it resistance? Is DMSI pushing me into a whole new paradigm of ditching approaching women to meet the goal? I don't know. My eyes are teary! The longing for a girl to perform copulation with is getting stronger. I feel so horny and depressed right now! Can't focus on anything at all!

Razib
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12-11-2017, 08:36 AM
Post: #4
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell
(12-11-2017 06:01 AM)Razib1988 Wrote:  Something dawned in me this morning. I wonder if me approaching women reverses the effectiveness of the script and women get repulsed as a result.

I'd like to know this too.

As for the rest, just hang in there man. It's all part of the H/C.

"We are incapable of designing and building a mosquito, let alone all the species and most of the other things in the universe. So I start from the premise that nature is smarter than I am and try to let nature teach me how reality works." - Ray Dalio
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12-11-2017, 10:10 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2017 11:55 AM by Razib1988.)
Post: #5
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
Goal #3: Wrote:To get you to notice, act on and take advantage of all of the opportunities this program presents you with, and guide you to help create these opportunities by being in the right place at the right time, and doing the right things.

Why DMSI is pushing me to stay home on the weekend then? Why do I feel burned out after coming back home and not feel like doing anything? If it helps me to create opportunities, then why I feel nauseated about going out and meeting new people? I wasn't like this even three months ago. I would be so enthusiastic to go out! I am a natural introvert and had a very strict religious upbringing. Is it some sort of healing/clearing that helps all my past experiences resurface and annihilate them by making me go through this hell? I felt a super strong urge to switch to B two nights ago. Coming from this experience on A now, it would have been a serious mistake. I'm at work and can't cry. I wanna weep like a new born child. A deep loathing for my family for raising me as a mediocre person is surfacing strongly. Wish I had been raised as a free kid that had self esteem without any external validation from the outer world. Damn it! FML!

Razib
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12-11-2017, 12:45 PM
Post: #6
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
(12-11-2017 10:10 AM)Razib1988 Wrote:  
Goal #3: Wrote:To get you to notice, act on and take advantage of all of the opportunities this program presents you with, and guide you to help create these opportunities by being in the right place at the right time, and doing the right things.

Why DMSI is pushing me to stay home on the weekend then? Why do I feel burned out after coming back home and not feel like doing anything? If it helps me to create opportunities, then why I feel nauseated about going out and meeting new people? I wasn't like this even three months ago. I would be so enthusiastic to go out! I am a natural introvert and had a very strict religious upbringing. Is it some sort of healing/clearing that helps all my past experiences resurface and annihilate them by making me go through this hell? I felt a super strong urge to switch to B two nights ago. Coming from this experience on A now, it would have been a serious mistake. I'm at work and can't cry. I wanna weep like a new born child. A deep loathing for my family for raising me as a mediocre person is surfacing strongly. Wish I had been raised as a free kid that had self esteem without any external validation from the outer world. Damn it! FML!

Point #1: That mythical heating you mentioned a few posts back? That's the aura.

Point #2: Approaching women does not reverse anything. You resisting the script can, though.

Point #3: DMSI is not pushing you to stay home on the weekend. That would be your terrified subconscious actively reversing the script instructions to avoid what it fears.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
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Kol, SargeMaximus
12-11-2017, 12:50 PM
Post: #7
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
(12-11-2017 12:45 PM)Shannon Wrote:  
(12-11-2017 10:10 AM)Razib1988 Wrote:  
Goal #3: Wrote:To get you to notice, act on and take advantage of all of the opportunities this program presents you with, and guide you to help create these opportunities by being in the right place at the right time, and doing the right things.

Why DMSI is pushing me to stay home on the weekend then? Why do I feel burned out after coming back home and not feel like doing anything? If it helps me to create opportunities, then why I feel nauseated about going out and meeting new people? I wasn't like this even three months ago. I would be so enthusiastic to go out! I am a natural introvert and had a very strict religious upbringing. Is it some sort of healing/clearing that helps all my past experiences resurface and annihilate them by making me go through this hell? I felt a super strong urge to switch to B two nights ago. Coming from this experience on A now, it would have been a serious mistake. I'm at work and can't cry. I wanna weep like a new born child. A deep loathing for my family for raising me as a mediocre person is surfacing strongly. Wish I had been raised as a free kid that had self esteem without any external validation from the outer world. Damn it! FML!

Point #1: That mythical heating you mentioned a few posts back? That's the aura.

Point #2: Approaching women does not reverse anything. You resisting the script can, though.

Point #3: DMSI is not pushing you to stay home on the weekend. That would be your terrified subconscious actively reversing the script instructions to avoid what it fears.

Thanks for your reply, Shannon. So, the only way to get through my subconscious fear is by listening to DMSI and being patient?

Razib
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12-11-2017, 06:29 PM
Post: #8
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
Felt a little good during workout today. When I was on the boxing bag, this girl entered and made a good eye contact. If I don't open a girl within a few seconds, anxiety bubbles up and I come across as a creepy guy. This exactly what happened today. I finished my stretch next to her when she was doing some ab workout. I walked over and said, "Can I join you? The exercises look really effective." She said yes, but I could feel the vibe wasn't just there. She excused herself after a while saying,"I need to go to the machine." I beat myself up hugely for acting that way. I couldn't forget about how creepy it was while driving back home. tsk tsk!

Razib
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12-12-2017, 11:48 AM (This post was last modified: 12-12-2017 12:27 PM by Razib1988.)
Post: #9
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
Have been feeling good since this morning. When cleaning ice off my car before driving to work, saw a really cute girl crossing street with her dog. Bam! Opened! She goes to a school near my work. The conversation fell into the interview mode and it was cold outside! She is a next door neighbor. Since it was really cold, she said,"Nice to meet you, have a good day!" Shannon, I don't know if you could do something with DMSI 3.2 to improve our verbal game if you already haven't. I don't know how it should work, you are the maestro! But I feel, as an immigrant to the States and having English as my second language, my results would have been far better if I could spike more emotions with my verbal game. When I feel anxiety, my voice gets low, my heart races, I'm in my head and that messes up the approach big time. I've been trying to snipe a girl at work that sits in the next room and I run into her when going to the bathroom. As I was walking to another location within the same building, which was a bit of a walk, she had been behind me the entire time, which I found out when I was about to get into the elevator. She was taking the escalator and when I saw her, I pointed at her saying,"Where are you going?" Now, my voice was a little douchy and I came off in a commanding way. This girl is an introvert and she seems like someone that doesn't go along with random people. Her looks told me that she didn't like my tone and me trying to talk to her. I've been thinking a lot about her lately. She is the kind of girl that I wanted when I used to be a nerdy teenager. I really want something to work out between her and me. That's it for now.

Razib
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12-12-2017, 07:30 PM (This post was last modified: 12-12-2017 07:52 PM by Razib1988.)
Post: #10
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
Don't have any idea about what is happening. I'm turning off every woman that I'm talking to. I went to a strip club today with one of my buddies. Two strippers approached me. With the first one, I was a complete asshole. The second one got me into her frame and I lost it. I felt from the beginning that the vibe was just not there. If I go to a strip club, I tend to get to know the dancer, ask her personal questions, flirt and tease, escalate before the dance. Once it's escalated enough, I lead her to the dance area where she lets me do whatever I want to do to her except letting my schlong go up her hole. But today, with that girl, everything was off. She didn't get any of my jokes and flirting. I was just not me today. My mouth has forgotten how to deliver the right thing at the right time. She kept pushing for a dance and I got trapped into it. Before the dance, I asked her to sit next to me to have a chat, she wouldn't do it either by saying ***** about not listening to the music. I should have ended it right then and there. At the dance, she didn't let me even touch her and called it off in the middle when I glided my fingers on her back. I said, "OK" and left the scene. I know that girls spread words around among them faster than the wind. Soon I was feeling that the girls at the club were giving me despising looks. After a while, my buddy was done and when leaving, I ran into another dancer that was playing with a ball in her hand. I said, "Throw it to me" while making a gesture with my hand as if I was ready to catch it. She bluntly said, "No". Dang! What is happening! Why am I resisting the script so bad?

Razib
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12-12-2017, 07:31 PM (This post was last modified: 12-12-2017 07:52 PM by Razib1988.)
Post: #11
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
(12-12-2017 07:30 PM)Razib1988 Wrote:  Don't have any idea about what is happening. I'm turning off every woman that I'm talking to. I went to a strip club today with one of my buddies. Two strippers approached me. With the first one, I was a complete asshole. The second one got me into her frame and I lost it. I felt from the beginning that the vibe was just not there. If I go to a strip club, I tend to get to know the dancer, ask her personal questions, flirt and tease, escalate before the dance. Once it's escalated enough, I lead her to the dance area where she lets me do whatever I want to do to her except letting my schlong go up her hole. But today, with that girl, everything was off. She didn't get any of my jokes and flirting. I was just not me today. My mouth has forgotten how to deliver the right thing at the right time. She kept pushing for a dance and I got trapped into it. Before the dance, I asked her to sit next to me to have a chat, she wouldn't do it either by saying ***** about not listening to the music. I should have ended it right then and there. At the dance, she didn't let me even touch her and called it off in the middle when I glided my fingers on her back. I said, "OK" and left the scene. I know that girls spread words around among them faster than the wind. Soon I was feeling that the girls at the club were giving me despising looks. After a while, my buddy was done and when leaving, I ran into another dancer that was playing with a ball in her hand. I said, "Throw it to me" while making a gesture with my hand as if I was ready to catch it. She bluntly said, "No". Dang! What is happening! Why am I resisting the script so bad?
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12-13-2017, 08:17 AM (This post was last modified: 12-13-2017 11:08 AM by Razib1988.)
Post: #12
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
Last night's experience with the strippers made me recall a whole bunch of failures with women this morning. I was overwhelmingly overwhelmed thinking the last three years in pick up hasn't changed a lot in me. I'm still acting like a noobish pick up artist who comes across as weirdly uncalibrated. I've sided myself from actively picking up girls after starting this new job about three months ago. Tbh, pick up grew me a lot. I could hold a genuine conversation with anybody - be it a girl, a group of girls, a mixed group, a dude, the homeless sitting around the corner and what not! But it eventually made me realize, that beyond knowing how to open people, I haven't actually learnt anymore shit! Cause, look at my results! After approaching thousands of women - days and nights - all I got were hundreds of makeouts, a few fingerblasts, some cuddles in bed and such! Alright, I got a super hot Polish MILF, that I picked up at a laundry store, who was obsessed with me the entire time I was on my road trip - texting and asking me to come back so we could have wild raw sex! Our texts were so raunchy and she acted to needy that I had to complain to my buddies! When I came back, she was longing to see me and she ditched her friend's party to be with me. I lied to her, I said I had a lot of sex experience and I know what she wants and was ready to give it to her. **** myself! I had penetrative sex with only three women and the last one was two years and 5 months ago. I was so anxious deep down and having this immense worry about my performance, that I came too soon. She tried to get it up, I tried to get it up, but nothing was working! There's a beautiful Polish woman who gets hit on by the every other guy that crosses her path, and I'm thinking she is not hot enough! Was I just covering up my insecurity and finding reasons to rationalize my performance in bed? Probably yes!

On another note, DMSI might be working. I did get the attention from my hair stylist about two weeks ago. She became so ebullient that she dropped whatever she had on hands and cut my hair. She was a cute Asian girl who might have a Vietnamese/Thai descent. After she was done cutting my hair, she excitingly put on some gel and said I did look good. NO HAIR STYLIST HAD EVER DONE THAT TO ME !! I couldn't pursue her because I was too afraid to be judged by her coworker who was a little chubby cute Caucasian girl. I'm still afraid of people's views on me! I'm afraid of being judged! I'm afraid of being ridiculed if I fail to get her! I'm afraid that the other people will hear what I'm saying to her. That makes me so timid and beta sometimes!

Another stipper a week ago commented that I smelled nice while unbuttoning my shirt and brushing my chest hair. She said that she had noticed my hairy chest when we were talking and couldn't help herself from peeking at it. I had put on some cologne 15 hours before that so, not sure if that was the pheromone effect from DMSI. I escalated on her and did a good job at making a genuine connection before. But there was a potential to do better. After the dance, I confidently said, "We should hang out and get to know each other more." I could see her blush and exude her apparent feminine shyness while politely refusing by saying, "You are good at this but we live far from each other." Which is true, three hours far.

Looking at the mirror shows me a handsome young man who looks a lot younger than he actually is. Will get back on kickboxing from next month. DMSI effect has made me lose about 5 lbs. Biceps, triceps, cuff muscles are becoming more defined. Beard looks a lot good on me. Sometimes, I catch women turn their head. Like this girl at the kickboxing gym, when I was doing my free trial class, turned 7 O'clock while beaming a comforting smile. Work is getting better. Getting praise from a coworker that is mentoring me. But I think I have a lot more to improve. Both in the Department of Work and the Department of Pursuing Women.

Razib
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Travis
12-13-2017, 07:23 PM
Post: #13
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
Running 3.1B as per Shannon's suggestion. Will be updating tomorrow.

Razib
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12-14-2017, 11:24 AM
Post: #14
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
6 loops of 3.1 B (Hybrid Trickling Stream FLAC Version) last night. Overall feeling good. No negative emotions. Considering the fact that I was feeling like shit yesterday, it's amazing how mind flips within a matter of hours. Bantered with my male coworker that sits next to me a lot. No feeling of aura yet. Sporadically getting turned on (like a warmth going down my shaft). Tonight is the last night of listening before I go on my trip to New Orleans for the weekend. Also, from December 20 through 31, I'll be attending a retreat for Vipassana mediation. I'll not run DMSI during that time. Not sure if the bloom will be taking charge as I'll be meditating for the entire day with a bunch of other people and they have separate room for the ladies.

Razib
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12-18-2017, 12:36 PM (This post was last modified: 12-18-2017 02:10 PM by Razib1988.)
Post: #15
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
On Friday, I felt like a natural that can easily and effortlessly talk to women. Did approach a few ladies at the airport since the flight was pushed back an hour and a half. While getting aboard, there were two girls right ahead of me in the line. They were laughing about some internal jokes and I joined. They ended up sitting in the row in front of me! DMSI effect: One of the girls asked for my number when the plane landed around all the passengers and called me withing 5 minutes when I was peeing! I ran into them once again when waiting on my friend and she said, "You have my number."

Didn't play DMSI on Friday and Saturday since we were arranging stuff for the party on Sunday. A couple showed up at the party and the girl was really cute! I talked to them without hesitation while playing buddy-buddy with the dude. The girl opened up a lot about herself. After a long time, I felt like a boss again. My eye contact was on point and my friend (that hosted the party) said that she talked highly of me to him. Damn DMSI, what you doing to me?

But why are you so spotty? While returning this morning, I saw so many cute girls that I could have approached! Even I sat between two women on the airplane but wasn't able to utter a word! The approach anxiety was so strong that I decided not to do anything because I would have creeped them out! Also, feeling ghosted at work today. Voice seems to have lost power! The bloom of 3.1A must have cleared something in the afternoon. It might be about me feeling void for not having anybody in my life. I have noticed that when I feel that void, I tend to I feel extreme aversion towards women. A girl that I wanted to approach so much was disqualified because her booty was a little too big! Her face was ***** awesome and I hovered around for quite a while. Don't know why my mind keeps doing it! Will get back on 3.1B tonight (will do 2 loops instead of 6) and run again tomorrow before I go on a hiatus for 10 days.

Razib
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12-19-2017, 07:50 PM
Post: #16
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
Nothing today except for the fact that my eyes have been catching a lot of women around me lately. Bad thing is I'm not able to approach at all. My biggest sticking point is approaching them at the gym. Sniper is not working yet I guess. No sign of aura either. Healing is still going on. It's not as intense and soul-crunching as 3.1A. From tomorrow, I'll be doing the 10-day vipassana meditation retreat. So, tonight is my last night before I get back on 31st.

Razib
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Travis
01-02-2018, 12:35 PM
Post: #17
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
Came back on B last night after a 12 day break. NYE was pretty good. As I had just come out of the 11-day meditation course, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Did approach a few girls at the clubs and ended up having a good conversation with a girl that had her fuckbuddy with her. It seems like after 2 years of my PUA life, I still regress and start from the base again. Approach anxiety is still a massive deal. One girl from the meditation course, that I didn't utter a word with, added me on facebook. She is a yoga instructor. I had this immense interest in getting to know her but in the end, approach anxiety didn't let me do it. It would be nice if she messaged me on facebook. I would take it from there and tried to babystep towards a date.

Razib
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01-06-2018, 03:04 PM
Post: #18
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
I'm not getting any resistance from 2 loops of 3.1 B. But I can feel my internal mindset shifting. No interest in going out though. My lifestyle barely allows me to see women around me. At kickboxing this morning, partnered-up with a tall cute girl for a while. Felt no intention to talk to her but I couldn't stop throwing glances at her during and after workout. A was kicking my butt with all those healing and clearing but B has been pretty good so far (only 5 days this year and 4 days in mid December though). Sometimes it seems I have something that is deep, very deep inside of me and I'm suppressing it. I don't know what could it be. Took a long nap and just woke up after a dream. The dream was related to my life and feeling as far as I remember. I came to understand deep down that I don't wanna follow PUA anymore. All those futile approaches were getting me no results. I was only satiating my false self by deluding myself into thinking that I can talk to random women and one of them will be a hit. Alas! It rarely did. I've let go of a few women lately without initiating a conversation with them. This morning, I strangely thought about getting into a relationship with my friend that I went down on. I was thinking of manning up, telling her what I want, and leaving the ball on her court. Let's call her S. We are supposed to hang out after I come back from a trip next week to celebrate her new internship. Another girl K, that I approached in August and hung out with a few times, has been texting me on and off to hang. I don't feel any interest. She is not my type at all. Anyways, I need to meet new people. But staying in and picturing relationship with S are not gonna help me meet the end goal. The cold is pretty awful too. It makes me want to hide in my room and not to talk to people. Am I relapsing and becoming unsocial again?

Razib
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01-07-2018, 12:04 PM (This post was last modified: 01-07-2018 12:13 PM by Razib1988.)
Post: #19
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
My subC is super terrified thinking about approaching women. My libido seems like gone too. I haven't had an erection since the start of 2018. I don't watch porn, don't fap, haven't touched alcohol in months. I AM NOT SELF SABOTAGING. I'm thinking about kissing, caressing, smelling a woman sometimes and trying to get aroused. But I do feel some blockage around my crotch area. I have started to despise all the pick up artists that I follow on facebook. Some jealousy also coming on the surface given the fact that I haven't touched any woman in a month. Ok, I may not be good with women, but I have had some. I wonder why my mind is ***** up right now. I've been acting kind of soft lately. Last night I let my roommate win an argument without making any valid point from my side. I thought it would be worthless when he was the one making a completely farcical statement. That reminded me of another guy that I met at the meditation course last month. At the end of the course, him and I argued about whether Palladium was a metal that could be found on the periodic table. I was right, but he was acting alpha by making deep voice and alpha body language. I just let it go. If DMSI was making me sexually attractive and high status, I wouldn't have had these situations. Why I'm reversing the script? Will I ever make a breakthrough if I continue to run B? Attracting women seems thousands of light years away. In the mean time, pressure from my family is accumulating for me to find somebody to get married. I'm 31 btw. I don't want to succumb to my family's pressure. Thinking about my age makes me depressed as hell. I just wanted to enjoy life and dating women before I could settle down with somebody that I would connect deeply with. The future looks a little blurry, man!

Razib
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01-07-2018, 04:51 PM
Post: #20
RE: DMSI 3.1 - Way to lose my dry spell??
I'm breaking down right now. Just came back from grocery shopping. Did two approaches and they shot me dead right on the spot. My voice was timid, eyes were darting, confidence was buried. I'm going nowhere with my women problem. It got worse. I haven't noticed any IOIs, not even from the fat girl that checked out right next to me. Life is terrible at this point. I wanna cry and yell it on the rooftop. Why is it so hard for the average guys out there?

Razib
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