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A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
09-07-2017, 09:23 AM
Post: #161
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
I had a little bit of that when switching to ver. B lately, too. In my case it usually manifests as not feeling like talking at all. Big Grin It passed after several days.
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09-07-2017, 04:58 PM
Post: #162
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
Quote:Be patient with B. For me, it takes a few weeks to normalize, and even then - I'm just now experiencing obvious attraction regularly, everywhere I go, over a month on it. And this isn't my first time, this is the 4th or so...

I think Strangelove said he noticed the most benefit after 3 weeks, or so?

Thanks, knowing that will help me persist. It's weird because the first time I used it for like a week good things we're happening.

Hmm don't remember what he said, I will have to have a look.

Quote:I had a little bit of that when switching to ver. B lately, too. In my case it usually manifests as not feeling like talking at all. Big Grin It passed after several days.

Cool, for me I was struggling at the thought of going out because I didn't feel like I would be able to engage socially. But I wasn't too bad, was quiet at first but relaxed after a while.
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09-08-2017, 04:38 AM
Post: #163
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
Felt a little better today on B. Talked to a girl in the gym I usually talk to and I felt a little awkward but she was laughing tons saying how funny I am.

When I was stretching before my workout this old lady was next to me and kept staring and smiling at me, I said hi but she had headphones on and didn't answer but kept giving me these massive smiles. Turns out she was there with her husband haha. I was a bit like "wtf".

Near the end of the workout when I was stretching a girl on the treadmill was staring, I was like "what is she looking at me like that for" as no smile or anything. Then a few minutes later she got off the treadmill and I reflexively went over to talk to her and she was smiling a fair bit so I guess she was looking at me.

It was a little awkward cos this new sexy asian girl was there who has walked past several times and smiled at me. I went to talk to her but felt a little awkward since I was waiting a while and built it up in my head. I had in my mind I was gonna ask her to go for coffee but the awkward thing.. the other girl I always talk to who i've been for coffee with it looks like they are friends. I asked her what she's doing and she said "having coffee with (girl I always talk to)."

I was basically thinking "dammit this is awkward" and didn't do anything after that.

Here's an interesting thing though that hasn't come up until now. Once a week I trim my beard down and tonight after I did it I just felt like something was wrong, mainly on my neckline it felt totally wrong and way too long though it's a similar length it's always been. I did some research and they suggest shaving it a little above the adams apple.

I decided not to quite go that far but I shaved it a little at a time, my skin is sensitive so went all red and some was bleeding so I stopped after a bit and i'll see how it looks tomorrow when my neck isn't red but it already feels way better. Since that's never come up before I have a feeling I can attribute that to something on B helping me to realize how I can look better. It was definately going too far down my neck, though from losing so much weight I have a bit of skin around my neck that is annoying so I don't want to trim it there too much.
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09-08-2017, 10:08 PM (This post was last modified: 09-08-2017 10:10 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #164
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
Today was unusual. An alternative store was having a thing to celebrate how long they have been open so I went along. I was feeling strangely anxious and like I wouldn't have anything to say to anyone when I went but I still felt the urge to go.

Got a coffee and just allowed myself to feel it, interestingly despite that when I got there I kind of just naturally talked to a few people. One girl I knew, another that I didn't. I didn't stay for that long as there wasn't as much going on as i'd hoped. It was interesting how though I felt anxious I kind of naturally talked to a few people when I got there, i'd say it has something to do with B.

Now i've been frustrated there's nothing else to do and sitting at home I have this strange anxiousness in my body and just wanting to get out somewhere, i've messaged a few girls on POF and I felt the feelings were around that, but I think it's actually wanting to go out and do something more but unfortunately there's not alot especially on a cold day like this.

As much as we can say "You create the reality, not the environment" the environment constricts me quite a bit in times like these.
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LionKing
09-11-2017, 10:03 PM (This post was last modified: 09-11-2017 10:37 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #165
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
I don't know if it's related but had some crazy physical stuff come up not long after doing some healing on emotions today.

My face and hands went numb, blurry vision, felt so out of it and disconnected from everything. I was still able to talk and stuff and even went down the street but in the end I just had to go home. I did qigong and the numbness has passed but for hours now i've had soreness in my right temple and now i'm feeling sick.

I don't know if it was something being triggered, but the timing was strange. Also during it I was thinking about when I got knocked out and the feeling was similar to having concussion and thinking of that come up.

I wasn't totally dehabilitated, I had the brief thought of a stroke but I was still functional as in able to walk and talk and such. I searched before and it turns out most of the symptoms also could be a migraine.

Also today a big feeling of just wanting to give up, there's no point even ***** trying with girls because all that ever happens is it leads to pain and rejection. And similar things that were pretty intense.

I wonder if it was all a reaction to those things, if so it would be the worst emotional reaction i've had. The last few days doing the healing i'm doing daily hasn't been as intense, today all that comes up then the physical things happen.

More just waiting until the end date of DMSI, because honestly it doesn't work to achieve the goals. Other things i've done in this area in the past have had much more results in a shorter amount of time.

6 months on 3.1. Several other months on 3.0.1. Feel like i've wasted my time.

PSTEC and visualization brought results in getting laid several times, WM at one point had alot of girls after me, though most lived too far away. AM I was with a few, stage 2 seemed to be the best for that for some reason. E2 was the best in that I was with 3 different girls during it who were significantly younger than me. And another one was kind of after me and I ended up sleeping with her on DMSI 3.0.1 which even seemed better for actual results.

One girl I started seeing on E2 I still was on 3.0.1 and it was when I went to 3.1 mainly, especially B that the whole thing blew up and she went weird on me and I have no idea why.

Todays thought is there's no point continuing with B for another 3 weeks. It 'feels' like something might happen maybe.. but that's the same feelings and thoughts i've had the whole time like "I might be close to a breakthrough, especially if feelings are intense like this" yet in the end it really amounts to nothing. And it's not like i'm a virgin who's never been with girls or never been able to meet girls, i've been with quite a few. It seems with 3.1 my ability to do so has actually got worse.

Curious about 3.2 but it won't be out for quite a while with what's going on unfortunately.
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09-11-2017, 10:47 PM
Post: #166
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
Now the pain in my temple and sick feeilng has mostly passed i'm feeling quite tired and also a chi/burning feeling around my eyes similar to when having excess coffee.
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09-12-2017, 03:23 AM (This post was last modified: 09-12-2017 03:23 AM by Benjamin.)
Post: #167
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
Frustrating.. after that reaction today and being tired after it I went to bed alot earlier to let myself get more rest and cant sleep. Like now im not even tired. :z
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09-12-2017, 03:23 PM
Post: #168
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
I've been keeping an offline notepad on my phone with my personal take on DMSI and ideas about how it should change for 3.2. I don't want to put it in my journal until Shannon is officially working on it (I know he doesn't like that). Of course, he'll be free to completely ignore all of it if he likes - or let me know if his models don't support it - but I feel like 3.2 needs to go in a completely different direction. I think coming up with a program with high contrast to the prior version will help separate out what "works" (as Sarge would put it) and what doesn't work. It would also maybe give us an idea how certain people react better to different strategies, etc.
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SargeMaximus
09-12-2017, 03:31 PM
Post: #169
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
I like that idea RT. I've suggested the same, though I know it can be tricky for Shannon as i imagine the time commitment is getting bigger with each release.
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RTBoss
09-12-2017, 03:40 PM
Post: #170
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
(09-12-2017 03:31 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote:  I like that idea RT. I've suggested the same, though I know it can be tricky for Shannon as i imagine the time commitment is getting bigger with each release.

I think, ultimately, it's a strategy that will save him time.
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SargeMaximus
09-12-2017, 03:56 PM
Post: #171
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
(09-12-2017 03:40 PM)RTBoss Wrote:  
(09-12-2017 03:31 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote:  I like that idea RT. I've suggested the same, though I know it can be tricky for Shannon as i imagine the time commitment is getting bigger with each release.

I think, ultimately, it's a strategy that will save him time.

True enough.
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09-12-2017, 05:04 PM (This post was last modified: 09-12-2017 05:10 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #172
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
I can't say I really know what should be different, not really knowing what's gone into it. But I still stick to the whole 'gender neutral' stuff being a very bad idea. It's also seemed to have caused other issues ***** my head up because of that whole thing which has lead me to conclude that it's unhealthy having it that way just to include more people.

At this point I just want to stop and get it out of my head. My thought last night is that DMSI has dragged me through hell for little result, continually stuck to it through this big intensity many times hoping it would breakthrough yet it hasn't.

Still got pain in my temple today, not that noticable just sitting here but if I bend over and my head is hanging, or if I move a bit fast it hurts. I'm even a bit scared to do my mindfulness stuff today after yesterday as if that crazy reaction I had happened after then it may have triggered it.

The other thing that I forgot convieniently because I got caught up in my old pattern again, is that girls shouldn't be my priority now and even to fully achieve the goals of DMSI i'd have to not live where I am because of the lack of opportunities, and for that I need to have money in order which is one of my worst areas. But I forgot that again, got obsessed with girls again especially switching back to B though it was only meant to be for the month.. I still got caught up in it.

Frustration and desperation reached a massive level last night. I couldn't sleep for hours and was getting so frustrated and desperate for girls. Interestingly today i'm confused because I woke up barely even caring.

I had a few thoughts of using that desperation and rechannel it into dealing with money so that I can move somewhere better. I understand it's not healthy using that kind of thing to motivate me and drive myself to move somewhere just for girls. But maybe it will help a bit.

I am thinking of trying Universal Detox briefly, as it will continue the healing I assume but not make me obsessed with girls, part of DMSIs motivation seems to do that and back you into a corner to motivate you to go and get sex, well increasing my frustration and baggage around that so much that I beat myself up more like I always have isn't actually useful for me especially being limited by the environment. If I was somewhere bigger then i'd likely have slept with one girl atleast from online just because I could send out way more messages.

Plus UD might also help with a health issue that i've mostly got in check but comes up every now and then. I thought of using MHS for it, but UD should help with the detox and also with the emotional part. But not many people are reporting on it so I don't really know how suited it is for emotional healing like i'm wanting.
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09-12-2017, 05:22 PM (This post was last modified: 09-12-2017 05:25 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #173
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
Holy ****... what this guy says about the gym and hoping it will help with the pain inside by getting big and strong is spot on. And it also explains a bit why sometimes I go through healing and start losing motivation and focus at the gym.. like it's being driven by the old insecurity sometimes.





I will likely get back into Somatic Experiencing again soon, or some Bioenergetics. Though with Bioenergetics I can only do skype sessions as there's nobody around here, and i'm not sure how effective that would be.
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09-12-2017, 10:14 PM (This post was last modified: 09-12-2017 10:16 PM by Benjamin.)
Post: #174
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
****.. no idea what this is. Went to the gym and just doing some light box jumps the side of my head started to hurt and throb a bit.

Did my warmup for squats and noticed the light through the fan more than I ever have which was weird, then I was talking to the gym instructor about it and noticed my head started to get cloudy.

Just doing light stuff was having that effect so I decided it was best not to do my proper workout, if I added weight to squats it would have just got worse.

That's *****, i've NEVER walked out of the gym not completing a workout. But after how yesterday was and noticing little elements of it I thought it was for the best. I left and was feeling scared, which makes me wonder if it's something emotional bringing it on.

Sensetivity to light is another migraine symptom, but i've never had one in my life and for it to suddenly come on after doing emotional clearing yesterday.. WTF. If it stays around I guess i'll have to goto the doctor, but I ***** hate doctors and they have continually proven themselves to be mostly useless.
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09-13-2017, 02:41 AM (This post was last modified: 09-13-2017 02:44 AM by Benjamin.)
Post: #175
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
I've written a little bit of it, I don't really feel like expanding more right now because though it's all truthful it'll just come across as whinging and negativity.

But there's no point me continuing another 3 weeks just to reach the date I initially decided.

Again today was the whole feeling of 'Oh something could just be about to break through' but i've felt that enough times and not really got a breakthrough to realize if it hasn't happened in like 9 months of listening it won't suddenly happen now. It's more than enough time to give it a chance, at this point there's no running away, there's just realizing it's not getting me there.

So goodbye DMSI.

Not sure what's next, most likely continuing some of the other healing methods i'm doing while taking a break from subliminals.

End of DMSI Wednesday 13/9/17.
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09-13-2017, 04:30 AM
Post: #176
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
Good luck! Do report on anything potentially bloom-related, though. Wink

I've had a similar experience with those not-quite-migraine-but-sorta things you've been describing. It is most probably related to something the sub is doing/resistance/and-or the ASS-ART kicking in. F. in. last week I got irked by something my ex texted me, and for about an hour afterwards I was like: "why the hell am I seeing double?", somewhat jittery and quite irritable.
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Benjamin
09-13-2017, 04:40 AM (This post was last modified: 09-13-2017 04:50 AM by Benjamin.)
Post: #177
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
Yeah I will if there's anything.

Mine was pretty intense yesterday, hand numb, tongue a bit numb, just felt out of it, alot of bluriness in my vision, what they call an 'aura' like spots in the vision, uneasy on my feet a bit.

If it's an emotional reaction then it's the craziest emotional reaction i've ever had and i've not had anything close to it. Though now that i'm thinking about it i'm starting to feel a little sick and emotional, fear and like I want to cry which may tell me that it is indeed something emotional. If so it's one of the deepest things in a while to have such crazy physical reactions.

I hope I can connect with what's coming up now to work with tomorrow, as I need to goto bed for now.
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09-13-2017, 05:06 AM
Post: #178
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
Feeling like I've come out on the other side of the tunnel, I'd choose to stick with DMSI. It is quite an amazing program, regardless if it achieves the end goal yet or not.
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09-13-2017, 08:12 PM
Post: #179
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
It did have it's benefits, such as especially on the good days almost every single girl i'd talk to at the gym or who served me in shops was happy to talk, compared to before.

But it was just that they were smiley and friendly. It's not like they were actually hitting on me or making it extremely obvious, just more friendly than before.

Last night I woke up scared that being off DMSI I might not get that. But in a way it was meaningless 'approval' that didn't lead to anything much. And this is where as i've mentioned before in some ways DMSI may buy into a "I'm not good enough without this aura" instead of legitimately moving you to a place where you KNOW you're good enough and such. Because the aura/energy flooding is temporary, so personally i'm not sure I like that idea and stopping using it if that's what's doing most of that then it might be disallusioning.

WM for example didn't have the energy flooding but there was some great reactions from girls.

Unfortunately DMSI didn't move me to a place where I can handle and be okay with whatever reaction I get, in some ways it may make that harder when the energy flooding fades a bit because I got used to more good reactions to a point.

It would be more useful to move at the identity level instead of energy flooding. Well I guess it has some of that already, but I can't say i've seen much evidence of that working.

In the end it was mainly better reactions, but only to a point, hope and more hope, seeming like something is happening but not really happening in the end.
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09-13-2017, 08:26 PM
Post: #180
RE: A Journey To Wholeness (DMSI 3.1)
Brief thoughts after first night of not listening. I had the best sleep i've had in a very long time.

I woke up feeling weird, insecure, anxious. But after not long that went into a relaxation. That didn't stick around.

But the general feeling is I feel like alot of pressure has been taken off. Which brings a thought of some feedback.

For me it seems, DMSI.. especially B may be too forceful. And it just ends up in an anger/frustration/**** this response.. wanting to rage and alot of it being turned internally.. instead of actually going towards the goals.

Forcefulness tends to have the opposite effect for me than getting me to do things.
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