LifeTuneUp Program

[Patti]

STAGE 1

If you are going to read this, don't think of it as a really, really, REALLY long post....think of it as a month's worth of posts!


Today I finished the 1st stage of the Life Tune-Up program. It’s been an interesting month to say the least. This sub has allowed me to get through some tough situations on a more positive note or at minimal helped me to balance out my emotions when needed.

I have two basic reasons for choosing this program at this time. One is because I thought it would be a good pre-empt to doing the upgraded version of Stop Smoking, by ridding myself of some obstacles that may be in play, which might hinder me from fully accepting the smoking sub on all levels. I also see how busy Shannon is, so I thought after six months, he may also be in better place time wise, to be able to produce that for my purchase. Maybe there’ll be another ridiculous sale at that time lol.

The second reason is because come springtime, we will be listing our house and moving to the city for various reasons. This is going to take me one hundred and ten percent out of my comfort zone! This is our fifth house since I’ve been married but I’ve lived here for 20 years. I have always lived in a basically rural area, busy enough but rural. Living in the city for me will be completely different, although not all in bad ways. My husband is someone who loves and welcomes change, me…not so much. The driving is one of my biggest hurdles that I will have, every gosh darn street other than main street are one way and I’m not used to the area and don’t know where anything is, but that will come with time. The other part that is sheer drudgery for me is doing what now needs to be done to get the house in order to sell. Cleaning out the closets, attic, garage and basically dumping most of my house. And then there’s the packing and actual moving that I just detest! All of these things tend to roam around in my mind, and I feel so weighed down that I get nothing done. I’ve been noticing how completely lazy I’ve gotten over the years and am becoming a house hermit, perfectly comfy in my own little world. I think the move will eventually be a good thing for me, but the process is the worst! So needless to say, anyone can see why I feel this sub may help me get through some tough, in my mind, hurdles.

I’ve had a couple of things going on this past month that I can honestly say the sub has helped me deal with. It seemed to help me balance out things in my mind. Firstly, my mother’s been going through the chemo process for breast cancer. The lump has been removed so the chemo is being used as a preventative for more cancer. Her feeling in the beginning was that they couldn’t give her any better chances of the cancer not coming back after doing it, so why do it? I of course was supporting her either way but the doctors felt it was necessary, so she started to process. Each time she went through it, she got worse and worse health wise. This past time was her third dose and put her in the hospital with pneumonia, so she has decided enough is enough and isn’t doing it anymore. I strongly support this decision as she’s 73, has a house in Florida that she wants to be at and just needs to go live her life. The cancer wasn’t killing her, the chemo and all the toxins were! It was a hard time watching my mom, go from being an upbeat active person to a sickly one who couldn’t get out of bed. But this sub seemed to ease some of that sorrow at the time. One of the scariest things for me was being at the chemo treatments with her and talking to many of the people there who had cancer caused by smoking. It’s scary to me because I am a firm believer that if something dwells in your mind long enough, you can bring it fruition, the good and the bad. It’s why I believe in these subs so much. And as much as I thought of my smoking being attached to cancer I tried to also think (but it was a much forced thought) this is why I need to quit smoking. I don’t want to be here going through the chemo process! The sad thing is that’s not enough to get me quit and never has been. It’s almost to the point sometimes that I think maybe that’s how I’m supposed to die. I know that’s a twisted way of thinking and probably more justification on my part, but that’s a thought I’ve had.

The second has to do with my father. It’s interesting to me how parents and children can be linked or bonded together and know things about each other, without really being with them. I’ve mentioned this before in posts but I’ll refresh. My mother left my father when I was 4. He’s been in Colorado and I live in NJ and haven’t seen or heard from him since we left. In my mind, he’s a lonely old alcoholic broken man. I’m not sure why I’ve thought that most of my life because no one ever mentioned much about him to me. My mother is so sweet and would never want to hurt me, so she never bad mouthed him and honestly didn’t know much about him after we left. So there was always the other thought that making him seem somewhat like a bad person justified why he didn’t want me and maybe that’s why I thought the way that I did. Well, comes to find out basically what I thought and much worse is the truth. My cousin on my father’s side in boxed me on facebook (gotta love fb lol). It was a pleasant surprise and throughout some conversations I have learned that he is a very unhappy person. He’s been married and divorced at least 5 times, he has trouble sleeping from not being able to deal with his conscience (she said), and therefore drinks almost from when he gets up in the morning until passing out at night. He is verbally abusive and when drunk, physically. After that convo, I immediately called my mom and thanked her for getting me out of there! It was this woman’s conversations that sparked our own here about my fathers past. My mother said he never really drank at the house and that wasn’t an issue then. So why would I think he was an alcoholic? So much so, that I’ve warned my kids that genetically they could have a problem so be careful. Strange how we know people without knowing them sometimes. Then there was a thought of, is it possible that by my dwelling on him in the negative way I have all these years, could have actually made it happen? Who really knows the subconscious’s true potential! Even though I do feel justified in some ways, I feel bad that he has lived that kind of life. It’s very sad. But I do feel some kind of closure of at least knowing the truth now, so that’s good.

The reason I mention these two events is because this sub has truly helped me much of the time battle with the different emotions that would come up. Maybe even bringing some emotions with it. It’s hard to say how exactly but I know it by the way I handled things and the way I felt. It was a very heavyhearted time but made slightly lighter by listening to the program. It very much balanced out my emotions.

So now onto the actual experience of the sub!

I listen to the ultrasonic version at the highest volume possible without it being disruptive to me. I had to start that slowly. I have learned by the process of using these subs that slow and steady wins the race for me. No two at a time or anything like that. My subconscious doesn’t like change (not sure if anyone’s does) and makes me quite aware of it. But it’s no problem for me to take my time and ease into it. Some nights I am able to listen to it just loud enough that I can hear mumbling and static. The only problem is that it’s harder to fall asleep and makes me slightly antsy. But, and I don’t understand this at all, the next day I feel better than usual. It’s hard to explain but if I had to, I would say I feel more grounded, stronger and calm. Sometimes I feel that my subconscious is pushing me to listen at this volume. Anyway, after the fist night of listening I woke up sick as a dog. So much so, I ripped my ipod out of the speakers and said I just can’t listen to that! It’s making me sick! I don’t know why I thought that, it was just a knee jerk reaction. I of course put it right back in that night. But my stomach was killing me from the time I got up, and continued right into bedtime. It didn’t hold me back, as it was a day I had about 12 errands to get done and did them all, but it was hard. I knew I wasn’t sickly as in having a virus because I’ve been through this before. It’s from anxiety. And here’s the thing. I never mentioned this while using the Stop Smoking sub (which I ran through twice) because it didn’t really have anything to do with sub. I was diagnosed years back with anxiety and take Lexapro to deal with this symptom of a gnawing feeling in my stomach that is debilitating. However, after listening to smoking sub, that feeling dissipated and I didn’t take the lexapro for months. I immediately started taking it again and all was well with the world. So my feeling was something in this sub was pushing its way to the surface in full force and bringing my anxiety outwards again. I have no problem taking the lexapro especially if it helps me get through any rough patches with any of the programs. But I think whatever it is that makes me feel anxious can be linked to my smoking habit.

I had asked Shannon what the titles are in this stage, which he couldn’t divulge for good reason. He said that somewhere along the line, I came to believe that being emotionally healthy is undesirable because it will result in something I fear. This rolled in my head for a few days and kept thinking, why wouldn’t I want to be emotionally healthy? Why wouldn’t anyone? What is there to fear that is so bad that I’d rather remain emotionally unhealthy? And the only thing that I could come up with that made any sense to me was that possibly if I’m emotionally healthy, that could also mean I’m more vulnerable, and thus opening myself up for hurt. If one is emotionally healthy, they don’t need mental guards and walls to protect them. Therefore pain and hurtfulness are free to smack us in the face. I’m not sure how to get around this. If being emotionally healthy equates to being more vulnerable and being emotionally unhealthy equates to being guarded from getting hurt, what’s the answer?

The other thing that he mentioned, as I heard it, was if there was something I could pinpoint that I had a fear of that would I guess make that fear purposeful? I think in our lives we all have different trauma’s that are infused in us and can make us fearful, some smaller and some bigger. I can say that any trauma with myself started big at a very young age and then smaller trauma’s came into play. I also believe that things that happened to us as children that may be seen or felt as an adult in much less dramatic way but the powerfulness of how we felt it as a kid, resonates in us through the years.

Before I put my next story out there, I want to preface it with how I’ve viewed my mom all these years. She’s about 5’4, has always been extremely fair, organized, and energetic. She got her masters degree at 50, has always been involved in many things, PTA , the treasurer of this, the secretary of that. She’s a very rational, calm and positive person.

This is really the only memory I have of my father. He was in the service and the day we were leaving him, my mother had planned our escape (your first clue) when he was away but not far enough to get home. Somehow he found out, came home, and they were arguing. We all got in the car because he wanted to go to the store to buy cigarettes. (Shannon this may be some clue for you, there may be some connection to my smoking habit because of him) I’m not sure what happened to make this happen but all I remember is being in a parking lot in the car with my sister and mom, and my mom was trying to run my dad over with the car. My mom was screaming, my sister was crying and trying to stop her and I really don’t remember what I was thinking…I was 4.

That was all I remember until we got back to my grandparents in NJ and she was going through a nervous breakdown. What kind of a monster drives a perfectly sane, rational woman to the brink of insanity enough to try to run him over with a car?! Maybe this is where much of my issues started. It was more than confusing in my mind for sure, seeing this and missing him so much in my younger life…talk about conflicting feelings! It also didn’t help having my sister tell me it was all my fault. Siblings are so great at helping us with our self-esteem sometimes…just smh! But that was her perception of the situation I’m sure. Either my mom talked to her about it or she over heard something like, my mom was going back with my dad (this is before we moved to CO, they had many breakups) as some sort of benefit to me because I was his daughter. It’s amazing that I’ve turned out as good as I have! But I know that there’s some sort of switch that turned off for me in that time of my life and a huge wall was put up, so I know these subs have much work to do. And that’s ok because at least I have them as a resource to help me, no matter how long it takes.

Ok, moving right along….in the beginning of listening, I was extremely sleepy, not fatigued or exhausted but sleepy. I found myself going to bed at 8ish and taking naps when I could. I felt it was the sub at work. Then something totally weird would happen some mornings. I would wake up feeling anxiety ridden with a permanent pressed smile on my face…very strange! lol I had some dreams that I remember, which doesn’t really happen much for me. One of the effects I was hoping for hasn’t happened yet and it doesn’t state it in the instructions so it’s not necessarily suppose to, but I was hoping to wake up feeling overall better. I still wake up feeling slightly groggy and tired. But what I have noticed is that throughout the day I start to feel progressively better so I’ll take that. Maybe being a better morning riser will come with listening to more stages.

The next thing I noticed was more confidence of sorts. My nephew was getting married. He’s the first kid in the family and we all we’re very excited, even my son flew home from college for the weekend. Knowing that everyone would be drinking…a lot….we had a plan of getting a taxi home. I had been listening to this sub about a week at the time and I started feeling that I wasn’t sure that I even wanted to drink, so I could be the designated driver to drive my drunk A$$ family home lol. So we get the reception and all I really had wanted was one glass of champagne. And even though alcohol tends to make most of us feel somewhat more relaxed to dance, myself included, I didn’t need it! I never got off the dance floor! And every one got home safe and sound!

The last thing I want to mention is that sometimes I forget that I’m not the only listening to these programs, by default, so is my husband. When I was listening to the smoking sub I noticed his drinking decreased. He’s got some genetic history with this, he’s had some major tragedy in his younger life and he’s stressed a lot from work. Either they’re too busy and he’s stressed or they’re not busy enough and he’s stressed, there’s no middle ground. So he likes his budlight! With this sub he seems more aggressive but in a good way. He’s the type of guy who says yes to anyone who needs him and is sometimes taken advantage of for it, especially with our kids. I’ve noticed him more saying no and sticking to it and not having second thoughts or feelings of guilt, which is a very good thing for him. Then one night we went out to eat. There were two waitresses in particular who waited on us. They were intent and focused on him like crazy. I kind of had a feeling it was from the sub. They took his order first and I felt like, hey! I’d like to order too! haha It was so nuts, I kept thinking, please stop, I’m never gonna be able to fit this man’s big head through the front door lol. When we left I said, I don’t who they thought you were, but you really got the royal treatment. He said, yeah, what’s up with that?! I said, I dunno, but it was fun to watch.

There was also days in which I felt as if nothing at all was happening. These days to me are most important because I believe it’s when the sub is doing much work without any outer effects. That’s one of the only resistances I have. It’s tries to make me feel bored and choose a new title…which is one of the other reasons I’m using this program, so many titles to appease my sub-conscious!

So all in all, the best way I could describe this stage for me is that it took off 2 to 3 layers of heaviness to make things a little lighter. I know there are many layers to knock down and rebuild and I am highly looking forward to losing a few more layers in the next stage.

If you’ve made it to the bottom of this…GOOD FOR YOU! lol and thank you for reading!

[AwesomeYoungDude]

Sounds like a good month of progress. I send good thoughts (in my own way) towards your mother. My family has had its share of bouts with cancer. Its good that you have a relationship with your mother. She sounds amazing. BTW its snowing in Colorado today. AM sub took me back to my childhood to address issues that I'd not thought of for years. Wow it was a trip. I also agree that some times life is better with Rx. So next time the females oogoogle all over your man. Just remind them that he's going home with you. I'm glad you shared the details of your past. I admire you more and more. I'm glad your mother had the strength to leave. YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME.

AYD

[Patti]

Ayd, I cannot tell you how much I value your forum friendship! Most times after I post anything, it dissipates and I don’t think anymore about it. But sometimes afterwards I have days like today that are totally sucky, verging on depression and basically beating myself up. You have no idea how much I appreciated you kinds words! They really made me feel much better…. thank you!

I hope all is going well with you!

[Patti]

I’m on stage two and insomnia is my issue right now. I’m assuming this is the sub working or some kind of resistance. Its not a volume thing, I always start lower in the beginning. I always seem to have some negative effect in the beginning of any sub, the first stage being anxiety (that dissipated pretty quickly, not taking the lexapro right now) and being excessively tired. I actually had been sleeping much better since listening to all the subs, so this sleeplessness is new. I just felt like my mind couldn’t physically relax.

I’m also slightly edgier with others, mostly my kids, when they don’t do things when I think they should. But I also find myself, saying to myself, they need to do things in their own way. So the edginess comes and goes pretty quickly.

[Shannon]

Good to see you're still around, Patti.

[Patti]

Thanks Shannon


One of the things that I really enjoy with this program is the brainwave entrainment. This isn’t new to me, I’ve used these types of programs for years, sparingly and never with subliminals. I wish they were offered with all the programs.

Stage two has mostly put me in a no nonsense type of mood with very little patience.

I certainly feel that things are being stirred up in my subconscious, although I can’t really explain that.

[Patti]

My daughter is also using the Life Tune-Up program but I wasn’t going to post anything about it because she’s not using it correctly or ideally. She misses at least one or two days a week (never two in a row) because either she stays at a friends or she’ll sleep in another room in our house. I’m just going to add the days to the end and was hoping for the best. She has some strong issues that I feel can be helped with these programs but she was very leery in the beginning to use them because I think she thought of them as mind controlling. But after an incidence that happened and much talking, she decided to give them a try. Since she’s so strong minded I try to not place too much importance on them, just something we’re giving a shot to try to help her feel better about herself. So even though she’s not using them correctly, I’m trying the next best way as to get her to listen at all.

When she started I bought her a refurbished ipod player that I wasn’t really happy with because something’s going on with the bass. If I play the ocean waves version I can hear the brainwave entrainment but I can’t hear it with the ultrasonic’s which is the version she wanted anyway. So yesterday I picked her up a new one and when she thanked me for it, she mentioned that she really was feeling better about herself. I didn’t press to much but asked what’s she’s noticed and she said she couldn’t really explain it but she relized things like she didn’t care about going out without makeup and things like that. She also mention some trouble sleeping. Her perception about them has seemed to change and she is even somewhat excited about them, so that’s good!

Shannon, I reread some of my posts and I think maybe the “things” you were referring about might have been a post where I said I was a hoarder? I was a little dramatic with that statement. I just have a lot of cleaning out to do, and don’t like pitching perfectly good stuff that I just haven’t used in a long time but don’t know what else to do with it. So I don’t think I’m a hoarder in any true sense of the word.

Also, I’m in a place in the book I mentioned that’s talking about the Need For Control and I’m starting to understand more about that. The problem is, is that I’m trying to consciously do what I can with any issue’s that I can identify, such as the abandonment, but with control I can’t really identify that on a conscience level so I’m going to have to rely heavily on the subs for that. Is there anything in Life Tune-Up that addresses that?

[Shannon]

I really hope you don't have a genuine hoarding issue, cause that'll make it much easier for us both. lol If it doesn't say so in the description of the program, it's not there. There is a sub for overcoming the Need For Control, however.

I am pleased to see that your daughter is getting good results. Going out without makeup is a definite sign of increasing self esteem and self confidence.

[Ryan]

I go out sometimes in my boxers and a tank-top with messy hair and a dirty, unshaven face smelling like I haven't showered in a year. Is that a good sign? ;P

Ryan

[Patti]

Ummm....

[benjamin]

hahahaha

[Shannon]

(12-10-2011 12:44 PM)Ryan Wrote:  I go out sometimes in my boxers and a tank-top with messy hair and a dirty, unshaven face smelling like I haven't showered in a year. Is that a good sign? ;P

Ryan

I don't think it's my opinion you'd need to care about, doing that sort of thing... lol

[Patti]

I have to hand it to this sub. Every couple of days I seem to have some revelations or enlightenments about myself. Some good. Some bad. Some neither.

[Spiral]

I read some of your first post Patti mostly about bits of your upbringing, anxiety, and your mother and father. I respect and thank you for divulging all the info to us on this forum. I am always reminded of how good I have and have had it every day. I wish you the best with the program and I'm sure your anxiety will be close to cured by the end of the set. And keep having those revelations and enlightenments. They're nice.

[Patti]

Thanks Spiral! I’m happy to hear that you’ve had it good and appreciate it. These subs seem to keep bringing me back to that time and personally I’m sick of going there!!! But I guess that’s a time in my life that needs to be addressed and healed so I can move on. Patience is not my strong suit but if these subs are teaching me one thing, it’s that slow and steady wins the race.

I usually read and follow your posts as well. You seem to have a strong sense of what you want and don’t want which I believe to be a great foundation for bringing what is best for you into your life. I truly admire your mindset.

[Shannon]

(12-14-2011 08:37 AM)Patti Wrote:  Thanks Spiral! I’m happy to hear that you’ve had it good and appreciate it. These subs seem to keep bringing me back to that time and personally I’m sick of going there!!! But I guess that’s a time in my life that needs to be addressed and healed so I can move on. Patience is not my strong suit but if these subs are teaching me one thing, it’s that slow and steady wins the race.

I usually read and follow your posts as well. You seem to have a strong sense of what you want and don’t want which I believe to be a great foundation for bringing what is best for you into your life. I truly admire your mindset.

Yay!

[Spiral]

Thank you, Patti. I do need to take some steps further out of my comfort zone... we all are improving everyday.

[Patti]

The more I read about abandonment issues, the more I realize that not only are they most likely to be a major reason why I am the way that I am or think, but also that they have effected many people. For instance, in the book I’m reading, the author labels 4 different types of outcomes that can describe someone who has abandonment issues and I can see that even my kids each have one of these outcomes. And we were very proactive parents in everything that they did. So these issues don’t have to come from the physical nature of someone actually being abandoned but also from a need that wasn’t fulfilled. I of course have both…go me!

I’m still pretty tired most days and anxiety is still looming about. I’ve had a day here or there, when I get more done but it’s a very conflicting thing with me. As I’m doing things, I’m very aggravated almost like I’m resentful I have to do anything. It’s actually comical and I do laugh at myself when it happens. I’ve had some weird physical effects which I’m not sure is from the sub or not. My scalp on to top right hand side of my head is sore a lot of the time. It’s the same feeling I would have if my hair were pulled tightly into a ponytail for too long. My mom told me a story of after we moved back to my grandparents, I went to sitter, who used to primp me up every day so that I almost looked like a doll when she came to pick me up. She was a Baptist woman and wanted to take me to her church which my mom okayed. After a while, my mom noticed that I was becoming very quiet and introverted, so she told the woman she was going to take me to a preschool with other kids. The woman didn’t like the idea, because she thought I was going to become disrespectful and bad being around other kids. My mother said, well I can do something about that, but her being totally introverted and shutting down I can’t. So maybe I just have some bad memories of her pulling my hair too tight lol idk. The other weird effect that happened was upon waking up one day, the muscles in my eyes were extremely sore, almost like I had done too many eye exercises. It was both eyes but mostly my right and hurt throughout the day. Maybe I just had a lot of eye movement while I was dreaming.

I know I have some resistance going on as the sub feels boring and I‘m not feeling too much positive change, but that to me means I need to keep listening. I do have some days where I feel a little lighter. But I think my memories and feelings and issues are all so deeply intertwined and extremely deep seeded that it will take any of these subs a while to unlatch and rebuild some positive influences on my life. I wish I would have had these subs when I was much younger!

Anyway, enough of that light and airy posting! Haha And onto my daughter who seems to be transforming from these subs quite nicely. She’s a Leo, so she’s headstrong, plus she’s passionate and also emotional. What a mix! So she usually has her very highs and her very lows. I’ve noticed much more balance. I’ve been privy to two major confrontations that she’s had, which I felt she handled in a very mature and intelligent way. Usually after any kind of confrontation with a friend or sibling, there’s always a meltdown, which didn’t occur either time. She just said what she needed to say and even changed to subject when she was done.

But here’s her big news. She works at our family business in the office with my niece. It’s comfortable for her as she makes decent money, can dress down and everyone loves her there. But in my opinion I always thought she’d fair best in the medical field because of outstanding compassion for people. I in fact always thought she was going to be a nurse but she’s not really into school, so that didn’t happen. Anyway, she sent her resume to an orthopedic doctors office that she heard was hiring and they called her for an interview. They asked her what her negatives and positives about herself were. What she said about her negatives even sounded positive! Although everything she said was true, it was the way she worded what she said that amazed me and even her. She said, mom, I don’t know where those answers came from lol. I told her they came straight from her subconscious, which she absolutely agreed with and stated that she loves this program! Not only did she get the job but they were looking for people in two different offices, one about a half an hour away 5 8 hour days, and one in our hometown 4 10 hours days. She got the one in our hometown, so she has off ever Friday, makes more money, wears scrubs so there’s no clothes to be bought, saves on gas and can come home for lunch if she wants. Win, win, win!

She also has some deep seeded issues and unfortunately her cons are as strong as her pros. I’ve seen some of these issues surface as well, almost as if she’s battling herself. It’s because of these issues that I wanted her to listen to this sub and I’m hoping to see some improvement in the future.

[Patti]

So I had a weird experience the other day that I had forgotten about. I went to the grocery store, which was pretty crowded. Every time I went for an item or was looking in a section 1 to 4 people would also go for the same item or section but without seeing me there. It felt as if I were invisible but my aura was drawing them towards these items or area’s. It was like everyone was crowding my space but didn’t know I was there…strange!

Today, it seems something is going on with my son, in a good way. When he got home from college, he was exhausted from 2 weeks of all nighters studying for finals. I’ve been letting sleep and catch up, yesterday he slept until 3:30! But today he woke up extra early, made breakfast (nothing like waking up to smell of eggs and bacon that someone else is cooking!) and the kicker is that he washed, dried and put away everything he used. He was ready to go and very chatty. This might not sound like much to anyone else but he’s basically done a 360. Here’s the thing I’m wondering. His room is right next to my daughters who is listening to Life Tune-Up as high as possible without distortion. Even though it’s not playing in his room is it probable that he hearing it and is being affected by it? And if so, is there any ill effects that would come from listening to it on stage 2 being that he didn’t listen to stage 1?

[Shannon]

It is actually possible to hear ultrasonics through walls, just as with other types of audio, if they're played loudly enough. I play my subliminals on my laptop loudly enough that I can hear them through the whole of my house, minus the garage, as long as my bedroom door is open. And no speaker distortion. Of course, I don't get distortion even at 100% volume, but then I spent a hell of a lot of money on this laptop because I wanted the best there was that fit my needs and to have it last as long as I could. Shame I couldn't get a Mac... but anyway, since they're based on pitch differencing instead of volume differencing, if any subliminal was going to work even through a wall - it's an ultrasonic. I think it is entirely possible that he is actually being exposed.

That program is unquestionably safe. You could use it in random order and it would still be safe... although not as effective as allowing it to build on itself in order, which is much of why the staged programs come in stages.

By the way, Leo women tend to come in two flavors, from my experience. "Run and hide! She's coming!" or awesome, but with foibles.