Post Reply 
Spiral's BAMM Journal
03-24-2013, 05:44 PM
Post: #21
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
Quote:I do work even though it may seem stressful at the time but I feel so damn good that I'm actually doing work pushing to get things done.

That is very much much the experience I have building multi-stage sets. It's what gets them built, actually.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
03-26-2013, 06:44 PM (This post was last modified: 03-26-2013 06:46 PM by Spiral.)
Post: #22
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
Thankfully there hasn't been an overflow of negativity in the second half of stage 1. I say this because I felt very wierd today after going to the Toast Masters meeting in my town here (which I enjoyed myself very much)... it was probably the damn double bacon chz burger I got from steak and shake. And I got next to nothing done this afternoon. I also forgot my sugar and protein shake at work.. argh! So I know there is no good or bad but the day just seemed like it was going bad. On the way home I was questioning everything I have been doing up to this point with my projects.. other projects currently in limbo (or so it seems) and just my future in general. I have received some closure though.. from my own thoughts just now.. or maybe from another source... hmm. I could have never imagined to get to where I am now. But.. it was me who got me here. I've succeeded all my life. I've been privileged.. and lucky if you want to call it that but I've always been a pretty hard worker. Sure I've taken short cuts in life and have made countless mistakes but I've always succeeded. And now I'm succeeding with subliminals. I thought I knew without a doubt that I would become successful.. but now I know. "Resistance" is futile Smile

I also know that without a doubt everyone on this forum striving toward their vision and goals will get there. Of course, it's not enough for me to believe that.. you have to believe that. I had a very similar thought at the checkout register at Publix a few hours ago. The young lady scanning my produce was heavily made up.. slight double chin but didn't appear to be overweight. Just overall unattractive, but I caught myself before I judged too much. I was very friendly to her and walked out. I don't know what she thinks about or does but I said to myself "damn.. I feel sorry for her because I bet she's super self conscious." (I could tell by her body language and expressions) and I figured she just wants somebody to love her, inspire her and support her. By the time I got to my truck I knew that there is someone out there for her. Whether she knows it or not.. I know it. Now it's up to her to believe that and also believe in herself. What we talk about most and praise about in ourselves are actually our weaknesses; so it seems I still have some learning to do. Wink

"To love completely and hold onto nothing-that is the only freedom." -David Deida
"If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with me, please send me an email.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
03-27-2013, 09:28 AM
Post: #23
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
Again this day started off feeling kind of weird.. but I feel like a little kid on a playground.

I still have battles with my ego in day to day situations but I think I'm becoming more controlled and open minded. I continue to consciously focus on improving my focus, patience and awareness of healthy breathing.

"To love completely and hold onto nothing-that is the only freedom." -David Deida
"If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with me, please send me an email.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
03-30-2013, 07:41 AM (This post was last modified: 03-30-2013 07:43 AM by Spiral.)
Post: #24
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
My biggest fear i've been battling with is not doing what I want to do in this life time before I die. I feel impatient towards achieving success but it's not overwhelming. I'm sabotaging myself out of spare time by wasting it by going on facebook, posting on this forum, hanging out with friends at a bbq. I'm hating the work process right now. I feel very indecisive and confused and starting to feel lonely again. Depression really isn't the issue though. Maybe it's my lack of sleep over the last couple of months. I'm going to be proactive in figuring out what's wrong and why I keep waking up multiple times throughout the night.

I guess on a positive note I'm seeing improvements in my workouts. Doing more reps.. gaining more muscle. Smile Also raising my BPI consistently with Lumosity training.

"To love completely and hold onto nothing-that is the only freedom." -David Deida
"If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with me, please send me an email.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-01-2013, 05:45 PM (This post was last modified: 04-01-2013 05:46 PM by Spiral.)
Post: #25
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
So yesterday I received some clarity on one of my projects and my partner has decided to move on to other things for the time being. No biggy... nothing I cannot handle. Yesterday and today I made some progress on the project and the only reason why is because of what I kept thinking and saying to myself today. I was walking through my office absolutely disgusted. It's the same office floor, walls, doors, people I've been with for almost the last 3 years. I can either let this be it or I can continue to move forward. And I can make things happen faster. I was feeling very off all day and just didn't want to talk to anyone. almost no eye contact was made. This is very unlike me but I didn't care. Unfortunately all compassion was out the window today. I was still pleasant.. just didn't go out of my way to acknowledge anyone. It's all the same shit anyways. No growth.. no expansion.. everyone talks and says the same stuff all day everyday and I want no part in it. I am now firmly making the decision to be just a little bit more productive than I have been lately. The absolute need to get out of this place is overwhelming and the only thing I can do is move forward with patience yet very swiftly and gracefully.

"To love completely and hold onto nothing-that is the only freedom." -David Deida
"If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with me, please send me an email.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-04-2013, 01:59 PM
Post: #26
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
I've been very productive. I've been feeling needy for a companion. I know I don't have time though. I don't even have time for friends. There are days where I'm fine being with myself. There are days when I just want to quit my job. There are days when I just want to move out. I will move out though at the end of May. Some of my neighbors are just lame. Once I start making enough passive income I can break away from the system and find people I resonate with Smile

"To love completely and hold onto nothing-that is the only freedom." -David Deida
"If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with me, please send me an email.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-05-2013, 04:48 PM (This post was last modified: 04-05-2013 04:49 PM by Spiral.)
Post: #27
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
Surprisingly I almost felt like crying earlier today.

I still get nervous around small crowds of people where there is no focused attention. My neighbor had like 10 friends over and they were just kind of standing there watching me come to my door. They were all dressed in the same outfit so I pleasntly asked what's the occasion? they told me they were heading to a choir concert to perform. At this time I just froze... and I wasn't thinking about anything but going into my house. And the way they were looking at me... (all girls btw) they wanted to rip my clothes off.. sooooooo I got somewhat spooked. I could have just chillaxed and asked them to sing me a song. Either way.. I've noticed alot of self talk because of the OFSG in this subliminal... I feel pretty good some days then other days I just don't feel like expressing myself. I can if I feel I have to for a professional meeting but if it's for my own purpose... i don't go out of my way to express myself unless I'm at a super market speaking with a cashier or talking with a store clerk. I'm clouded with limiting beliefs it's sickening. I know why I almost cried to. It's a personal matter and I won't mention it here.

The indecision to take action lately is draining me.

Other than that I'm productive as hell and carving a new path as hard and cleanly as I can.

"To love completely and hold onto nothing-that is the only freedom." -David Deida
"If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with me, please send me an email.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-06-2013, 08:10 AM
Post: #28
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
Spiral, it's great that you were able to engage them to ask what's up. It's a step in the right direction, and will bolster your confidence for the next time you encounter a similar situation.

Fear is a liar.

There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self. -- Ernest Hemingway
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-06-2013, 10:58 AM
Post: #29
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
Thanks for the encouragement Sean.

In regards to my previous post I read now and I know it's unlikely to carve a new path cleanly. At first there's probably going to be alot of ugly splotches in place. I need to be ok with that.

"To love completely and hold onto nothing-that is the only freedom." -David Deida
"If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with me, please send me an email.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-06-2013, 03:34 PM
Post: #30
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
It's not always easy to get started, especially on such a grand and demanding adventure as this... but... you're in for a serious ride, and if you stay the course, you're going to be moving forward at a very high rate of speed.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-07-2013, 01:08 PM
Post: #31
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
It's getting to the point where if I want to do something I must do it (not quite tho). I am still holding myself back. I keep thinking I'm going to explode out of this cage but I'm not unless I decide to. But with this OFSG I'm heading in the right direction. Call it will power and power of choice. I must master my indecision and choose to confront fear. I see the issue... I just have to move past it now.

I'm not who I was yesterday. I can feel the otherside of this cold wall. It's warm and full of love.

"To love completely and hold onto nothing-that is the only freedom." -David Deida
"If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with me, please send me an email.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-09-2013, 10:21 AM (This post was last modified: 04-09-2013 10:23 AM by Spiral.)
Post: #32
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
Not sure what stage 2 is doing. I remember Shannon telling me Seek the Challenge programming started in either stage 1 or 2. I really feel it right now since I've been awfully productive. But I can get distracted very easily. Also I do not feel like who I was when I first started... or how I was in stage 3. I'm very smiley but I'm inconsistent with it. I choose my moments selectively and I am more self conscious in this stage than I was last stage. So far this has been very interesting.

I'm also very soft spoken and slow at times.. my voice has turned.. hynotic

I guess that's what happens when you let go of outside approval and judgment.

"To love completely and hold onto nothing-that is the only freedom." -David Deida
"If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with me, please send me an email.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-11-2013, 04:29 PM (This post was last modified: 04-11-2013 05:52 PM by Spiral.)
Post: #33
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
I realized...

I have problems because I think I do.

I may have discovered this some time ago. "Problems" have a negative connotation attached to it. Every experience is as we believe it is and nothing else. In my current state of awareness, I owe it to myself to be mindful of all my actions and look at ways of changing behaviors if they need to be changed and improving them for the benefit of myself and others. Now I can continue to move forward with a little bit more refined and healthy outlook on life.

I'm also trying not to mind read and assume how others are feeling. Instead I seek to understand others and I still have alot to learn. This NLP book I've been reading has been the most eye opening book I've ever read and there are so many tools available in this book that will allow me to get the most out of my subliminal usage.

Check it out http://www.amazon.com/Introducing-NLP-Ps...rogramming

"To love completely and hold onto nothing-that is the only freedom." -David Deida
"If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with me, please send me an email.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-12-2013, 05:24 AM (This post was last modified: 04-21-2013 03:54 PM by Spiral.)
Post: #34
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
Stage 2

4/4/2013 - 5/9/2013
16th day ---> 4/19/2013


Stage 2 is tearing me to pieces right now

edit: added 4 days of listening due to missed time

"To love completely and hold onto nothing-that is the only freedom." -David Deida
"If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with me, please send me an email.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-12-2013, 12:45 PM
Post: #35
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
Nope. Surprisingly it hasn't been rough like ASC. When BAMM came along I felt this push towards it. So I figured it was the best next step and things havn't been too overwhelming. I feel very emotional at times but they last for short bursts.. and I feel more empowered every time. There is no such thing as "resistance" anymore. I'm glad you're enjoying my journal Smile

Now if I can start getting more sleep...

"To love completely and hold onto nothing-that is the only freedom." -David Deida
"If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with me, please send me an email.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-12-2013, 07:07 PM (This post was last modified: 04-13-2013 05:00 AM by Spiral.)
Post: #36
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
I am starting to question things now. In terms of my life and how things have unfolded in the last couple years with my subliminal usage. I have had a history of severe self sabotage. Once I get past this then there's nothing stopping me.

I am afraid to think I am sabotaging my own sleep. I damn well know for sure the last couple years were dark because of my own self sabotage. My reaction to the underlying truths that was current self was not pretty. It's gotten a little prettier but there seems to always be something going on that I must deal with.

I did say things were getting interesting a few posts back and they sure as hell are but maybe a little too uncomfortable as well. I'll have a talk with my mentor later on.. sounds like I've got some new things that I need to address.

edit: I'll leave this post up for now. I feel like I've gotten past this.

"To love completely and hold onto nothing-that is the only freedom." -David Deida
"If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with me, please send me an email.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-13-2013, 12:37 PM
Post: #37
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
I find change/restructuring beliefs much to fit the description of a new job I haven't been trained in. At first it's completely overwhelming...I react in different ways anywhere from frustration, over-doing, or even falling asleep. Eventually work becomes a well oiled machine (system) and what was once stressful is now routine.

(04-12-2013 07:07 PM)Spiral Wrote:  I am starting to question things now. In terms of my life and how things have unfolded in the last couple years with my subliminal usage. I have had a history of severe self sabotage. Once I get past this then there's nothing stopping me.

I am afraid to think I am sabotaging my own sleep. I damn well know for sure the last couple years were dark because of my own self sabotage. My reaction to the underlying truths that was current self was not pretty. It's gotten a little prettier but there seems to always be something going on that I must deal with.

I did say things were getting interesting a few posts back and they sure as hell are but maybe a little too uncomfortable as well. I'll have a talk with my mentor later on.. sounds like I've got some new things that I need to address.

edit: I'll leave this post up for now. I feel like I've gotten past this.

Andrew // Site Architect "Attack its weak point for massive damage" -Giant Enemy Crab
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-15-2013, 08:57 AM
Post: #38
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
I got to sleep fast last night but woke up at 2am. Stopped listening to the subliminal since I was using headphones and couldn't get back to sleep. Calming my mind was challenging once I took the rest of the night off but I was able to doze off at least 5 or 6 times but I'd immediately wake up. I did not want this. I was frustrated... Then I let it go and cooled off. Never went back to sleep. Worst night of sleep I've ever had. My mind is not acclimating to the 5g properly. I may have an imbalance in my diet.. I may be stressed and anxious. I'm probably somewhat anxious dealing with over comin fear however my stress levels are pretty low because I'm managing it with patience like a boss. I almost decided to take A few months off completely but I don't think I will do that. I'm going to add one more day to this stage and suck it up. I really don't know what is causing my insomnia.

"To love completely and hold onto nothing-that is the only freedom." -David Deida
"If at first glance it may appear too hard, look again. Always look again." - Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with me, please send me an email.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-15-2013, 09:25 AM
Post: #39
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
(04-15-2013 08:57 AM)Spiral Wrote:  I got to sleep fast last night but woke up at 2am. Stopped listening to the subliminal since I was using headphones and couldn't get back to sleep. Calming my mind was challenging once I took the rest of the night off but I was able to doze off at least 5 or 6 times but I'd immediately wake up. I did not want this. I was frustrated... Then I let it go and cooled off. Never went back to sleep. Worst night of sleep I've ever had. My mind is not acclimating to the 5g properly. I may have an imbalance in my diet.. I may be stressed and anxious. I'm probably somewhat anxious dealing with over comin fear however my stress levels are pretty low because I'm managing it with patience like a boss. I almost decided to take A few months off completely but I don't think I will do that. I'm going to add one more day to this stage and suck it up. I really don't know what is causing my insomnia.

Its your subconsious and internal beliefs trying anything and everything they can to try and stop you from erasing them, just think, this is their last hope, they are desperate and have no more cards to play. At this point they are willing try anything in their power to stop you from being successful Smile

Taking a few months of is EXACTLY what it wants you to do.
This is a good sign, you are breaking down something big here Spiral.
Dont give in now!

Revel in the chaos brethren, for this too shall pass.

This is what girls who squat look like Rolleyes

http://www.pinterest.com/dgauthier677/sexy-glutes/
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-15-2013, 12:37 PM
Post: #40
RE: Spiral's BAMM Journal
I disagree completely, has nothing to do with the subliminal. Figure out what's causing it.

Andrew // Site Architect "Attack its weak point for massive damage" -Giant Enemy Crab
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply 


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread: Author Replies: Views: Last Post
  Shannon's BAMM 2.0 Journal Shannon 392 112,014 11-07-2017 09:04 AM
Last Post: Shannon
  BAMM Journal THolt 104 38,234 02-06-2017 06:00 PM
Last Post: THolt
  Keith's BAMM Journal ncbeareatingman 325 66,981 01-15-2017 10:46 PM
Last Post: ncbeareatingman
  AYD's BAMM Journal AwesomeYoungDude 30 11,234 08-08-2016 03:16 PM
Last Post: AwesomeYoungDude
  Roy's BAMM 2.0 Journal Roy 12 4,359 11-30-2014 09:48 AM
Last Post: Roy
Brick Elusive's BAMM Journal Elusive 4 2,341 09-04-2014 06:13 AM
Last Post: Elusive

Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread:
1 Guest(s)

Return to TopReturn to Content