AwesomeYoungDude's Alpha Journal

[AwesomeYoungDude]

As promised, I’m starting a journal. As spiral indicated, a journal is an effort to help others and provide feedback to Shannon. It’s a journey for us but a business for Shannon.

To many I'm a familiar voice, much like that OldMan you once new.

Background, I am a Gentlemen. You could call me old school but that might be considered bad form.

I’m married with children. I live in the suburbs in the heartland of the US. I work in corporate America. I've been in the same career since college but have changed companies. I’m just a regular average guy. I’m just like your friend’s dad or like the neighbor guy across the way or the guy in the car next to you (however I'm not the one with his finger in his nose).

I’m attracted to the Alpha Male sub because as advertised it will make me a “strong, healthy self reliant and self confident man”. I hope to address my insecurities and improve my self esteem and self worth. I’m not a A type personality and don’t want to become one.

Because I've invested so much in family I have no intention of utilizing the female attention in any way that would jeopardize my marriage or family (to me its just not worth it).

My goal of using Alpha Male is to improve myself, my family, my career, and my social life.

As I read other’s alpha journal I found several posts lamenting a lack of specific behavior/characteristics of which I also lacked. Knowing that Alpha Male does not address everything, I determined to wait for Alpha Male 2011 and in the mean time improve myself with other subs.

I've listened to the following subs in the belief that they would augment the alpha transition.

- Overcome Procrastination
- Focus and Concentration
- Ultimate Motivation
- Carpe Diem! (Seize The Day!)
- Achieve and Maintain Your Ideal Weight
- Max Memory

I’ve posted my experience with Overcome Procrastination and Achieve and Maintain Your Ideal Weight in the Testimonials section (I recommend both). I will in time post for Max Memory. I really did not get enough exposure to Ultimate Motivation to give a report and I’m reluctant to report on Carpe Diem because of my previous exposure to Overcome Procrastination. I did not get the desired results from focus and concentration but this was also not used for an extended period of time. I cut short some subs in order to focus on AMYIW and Max Memory prior to the start of AM11.

I’ve listened to AM11 since Jan 20th. I’ve seen the same changes as reported by others; however I've not noticed them as dramatic.

The following are snippets of things that have occurred within the last week.

- I now sit next to more chatty people.

- I started to develop a swagger while listening to Achieve and Maintain Your Ideal Weight, but within the last week its become more refined and I’ve had more comments about it.

- More pronounced heated discussion with my children. No raised voices but still heated. (These started during AMYIW but are more frequent now)

- I remember my dreams more. No re-occurring themes or Zombies (yet).

- A stronger desire to workout. I had this desire prior to AM11 but the urge is now stronger.

- The effects of Overcome Procrastination backed off a bit since its completion in Nov. I’m now back to the level I was upon completion of that sub.

- More random conversations with co-workers who I normal do not converse with and conversations with strangers I meet in passing.

- A single re-occurrence of dread prior to awaking in the morning. This has not occurred since late last fall.

- Full day of resistance in which I ate a lot of comfort food.

- Less OCD thoughts. An example in the past heated discussions would occupy my mind long after the discussion had ended. Now I just shrug the thoughts and conversation off. This is very liberating. I’m not replaying the details over and over in my mind.

- More control of my mind in regards to un-wanted thoughts. I don’t what you to roll your eyes when I say this, but I have less impure thoughts. This is good not because of the impure part but the control. My appetites are less and less in charge.

- Improvement in self-control, more control over my emotions, focus, and concentration. After starting AM11 I'm experiencing the behavior I desired from Focus and Concentration and Ultimate Motivation.

- I'm standing my ground more.

- I maintain eye contact more without effort. Well this started during AMYIW but has improved a bit. Before AMYIW my eye would start to twitch almost like I was looking into the sun

Now that I look at the list as a whole that’s a dramatic shift in one week. But the changes are so gentle and small that I don’t know I’m changing. I would say the changes are occurring in a less and less or a more and more fashion.

Wow gents, I’m slowly being seduced to the alpha side.

I plan to post as I see changes and may or may not give weekly updates.

[Spiral]

I see that you have a family and are very serious about not jeopardizing any of it. I wonder how the eye seduction pieces in the alpha 2011 will affect you. Maybe for you there will be different kinds of results. And the eye contact thing is something I experienced early on. I think it has something to do with the muscles but as you begin holding eye contact more it will become more comfortable and you can just sit your eyes in one position and just gaze into other people's souls.

[AwesomeYoungDude]

I tried in vain to work the eye contact thing throughout my life. Its only since starting the subs that I can keep contact for more than 5 seconds without a twitch. I now can keep contact as long as I would like.

[RainbowAbyss]

Good luck on ur journey newly annointed awesomeyoungdude!

[Shannon]

Nice list, Dude!

The eye thing was basically an automatic subconscious aversion to potentially threatening someone with direct eye contact. I have seen it before. It's sort of a subconscious body language way of saying, "Not really, I'm not trying to threaten you, anyone who's alpha-er!" Now that you're more comfortable, you are noticing that's going away, and after a while you'll feel much more comfortable with what will develop into a "gaze of presence".

As for the sexiness/etc., that's always going to attract female attention, but what you do with it is always your choice. Eye seducing your wife certainly wouldn't be out of the question, though.

[Spiral]

I was just thinking that after I made that post. She'll be impressed!

[jamboree]

How is the alpha coming along for you?

[AwesomeYoungDude]

Since my last post I've noticed the following which I attribute to AM11:
- More aggressive with those that I disagree with.
- More constant and self confident in my approach with the world. This includes family, friends, and associates.
- More annoyance with conversations, communications, interactions that I feel are useless or not worth my time. This includes verbal and written.
- Constant use of a deeper voice when communicating.
- 3 days of resistance (now I know what resistance is). I just wanted to veg the whole time.
- Eating more.
- I get more stares from passing people. These are not stares of "somethings wrong with you", but more of "I know you from somewhere", or "there is something about you but I'm not sure what it is".
- Very bubbly females store employees (in fact all store employees are much more friendly).
- Dreams part 1: In the past dreams had no connection or ramification upon awakening (it was just a dream). For the first time at the end of my dream I had some accountability. I thought "would I like it if someone did that to me". Hmmm that's very interesting. The integrity of who I am, or want to be, is now being applied to my dreams.
- Dreams part 2: My dreams are starting to re-construct past events in which it appears that I was self-conscious. In the dream or at the end of the dream I defend my actions, habit, or behavior. These events are small occurrences in my life in which I wondered what others thought or if others judged me based on the event. But in the dream I assert the correctness of the action, habit, or behavior. Its like the event is re-written, but this time the event was either neutral or bolstered my self esteem, self-worth, and self confidence. My dream behavior is more and more Alpha Male.
- Dreams part 3: I'm still awaiting for zombies to show up. I'm hoping to slaughter them with the gun I've hidden in my subconscious just for this reason. OK I admit I've played some video games.
- Embolden towards employer and co-workers. Indifference towards collateral damage of my action or words. I'm driving work in the direction I think is right. I'm more and more speaking my mind. In the past I knew that this brings about an equal force of resistance from others within the company. In the past this type of behavior has come back to haunt me, but I'm now caring less and less about the downstream effects, and more and more on my ability to get things done. Only time will tell if this behavior will be rewarded by my company or will cause problems.
- Animosity towards those who play the system (employment) to get ahead and get raises when I don't thing they were worth the cost. Companies often have no choice but to reward the squeaky wheel.
- I often times wonder if the sub is working. I have an name embedded sub and I wonder if the wrong name was embedded or if somehow the name was pronounced wrong.
- The alpha changes continue to occur in a more and more and less and less manner.

I'm noticing the following which I attribute to Max Memory:
- My memory is more sticky in general. (things stick better)
- Beginning to see the spelling of words in my mind.
- Number stick in my memory better.
- I mentally see a visual representation of information new and old.
- Improvement on name recall.
- I'm concerned that at times my instant recall is slower.

[AwesomeYoungDude]

Also I'm tired a lot of the time.

[AwesomeYoungDude]

Shannon, my memory continues to improve in both short and long term recall.
As noted in my previous post I have continued at times to have a slight delay on short term recall. Any thoughts? Have you observed this with others who used this sub?

[SubDown]

Good luck with your Journal, I will be following it.. Always wanted to do a journal, but then mainly for myself to see how my process went, And to look back at it to really tell the difference.

[Shannon]

It happens. Seems to depend on a variety of factors, such as how well you have been feeding your brain with quality foods, how much sleep you get and what quality of rest you get while you are sleeping. I can hardly say that it's helping the memory sub to be used with AM2011, which is actively and seriously using your dreams to drive changes. And why on earth would you wonder if the AM sub was working? You're getting lots of great results.

[AwesomeYoungDude]

(02-16-2011 04:18 PM)Shannon Wrote:  It happens. Seems to depend on a variety of factors, such as how well you have been feeding your brain with quality foods, how much sleep you get and what quality of rest you get while you are sleeping. I can hardly say that it's helping the memory sub to be used with AM2011, which is actively and seriously using your dreams to drive changes. And why on earth would you wonder if the AM sub was working? You're getting lots of great results.

I'm using Max Memory because of your response.

(01-23-2011 03:04 PM)AwesomeYoungDude Wrote:  Shannon, I've been using Max Memory for the last 2 months. I listened to the sub in conjunction with other subs. Max memory was not the primary sub until about two weeks ago at which time it was the primary sub I listened to. Primary meaning that I get 10 hours of exposure. Prior to that I would get around 2 - 3 hours per day.

I just recently started to notice changes which I attributed to the max memory sub.

I've now started AM11. What is your opinion regarding continuing to use max memory as a secondary sub to AM11.

(01-23-2011 09:47 PM)Shannon Wrote:  There's no reason you can't do that. Just don't use anything more than those two at a time if you do.

What sort of results have you noticed?

Next

(02-07-2011 01:44 PM)AwesomeYoungDude Wrote:  - I often times wonder if the sub is working. I have an name embedded sub and I wonder if the wrong name was embedded or if somehow the name was pronounced wrong.

(02-16-2011 04:18 PM)Shannon Wrote:  ....And why on earth would you wonder if the AM sub was working? You're getting lots of great results.

Shannon, let me introduce you to a thing called resistance. haha.

You have the advantage point of knowing what is in the script I don't. You can see the AM11 in my posts. I don't know the source of the changes. I have a very suspicious mind, I doubt everything. How do I know that the changes I've encountered are not just residue from the previous subs. The changes could be auto suggestion. I don't know.

If you see something in my post the points to alpha then point it out. I believe you use the words "more and more" in Alpha but not in the previous subs, in that the words more and more and less and less are now in my mind. These words are new in my mind and I do not know the source.

If Alpha used my dreams to clean out garbage whereas previous subs did not, then that shows Alpha is the source (it working).

Because I see the changes a little at a time (more and more) and not a wow that's a big change its easier for my mind to say its not working. My mind says of course there are changes, but that's not from AM11 its from something else.

It would be helpful for me to have a response that said, "I see specifics in your posts from the alpha" or "when you mentioned X in your post it shows that AM11 is working because that is new or more emphasized in AM11."

My mind is playing tricks on me, trying to get me to stop. I've seen this theme from other posts where they had urges to stop listening with thoughts of what if its a waste of time, its not working, or yes yes Shannon is just a government program created to brainwash the masses in order to take over the world and Andrew and Jackie are just codewords........

Wow that was a release. [big inhale], [hold it]..........[slow cleansing release].......

Ok....so should I suspend Max Memory until after AM11? I've come to the determination that memory is at the root of my lingering procrastination problems. Procrastination I think is tied to my self esteem. I'm concerned that self confidence diminishes in direct relationship to procrastination.

[Shannon]

Everything you said before and after "I don't think it's working" in that previous post is because of the Alpha sub. lol Yes, alpha uses your dreams to make the changes. Yes, it is working. All the differences you are noticing are from alpha, from what I gather. And apparently you are right, your mind is trying to get you to stop. Just laugh and keep going. Your conscious mind is in control now, bwa hahaha!

If your procrastination causes your self confidence to diminish, what would make you think your memory had anything to do with it? Procrastination is almost always a resistance issue. It can also be memory, or focus, but what makes you think it's memory in your case?

You'll be able to see the script for Maximize Your Memory once I rebuild it as a 4G program, which shouldn't be too far off.

And your suspicion belies a sense of insecurity at some level. Can you consider what has got you feeling suspicious? Is this suspicion just towards me/the subs, or everything in your life?

[AwesomeYoungDude]

Update from the last week of AM11 stage 1.


Walk/Posture:

Walk changed from John Wayne style, which I started during Achieve and Maintain Your Ideal Weight to a Clint Eastwood swagger. Both John Wayne and Clint Eastwood tags came from people I know who noticed the change. Who'd known a positive effect from watching western movies? I wonder if my wife would fall for that excuse this weekend. "But honey I'm only watching this movie for the hundredth time in order to research male swagger role models..."


I walk slower than before the subs, but my walk's speed has increased slightly from its slowest point. It sped up a little when I consciously realized I was intentionally walking slowly to draw attention to myself.


Shoulders are almost always square with a straight back.


Eye Contact:

I no longer need to acknowledge with eye contact everyone who passes by or is in the room. I do not avoid eye contact; I’m just more selective. It’s not the beta posture of avoiding eye contact, its alpha, my attention and time are important and I need not acknowledge everyone.


Continue to improve on the duration of time I make eye contact, but it's still not perfect.


Voice:

I consciously speak with a lower voice. When I'm not thinking about it my voice will revert back to its original pitch and tone.


Dreams:

Although I cannot remember my dreams I'm aware that I'm dreaming multiple times each night. No consistent themes. I guess the zombies know I'm waiting to ambush them so they are staying away. I don't have as many female dreams as those in the +18 section of the forum and when I do they involve my wife.


I'm still having dreams which redefine my past behaviors into a favorable light. I only occasionally remember these dreams so I don't know how often they occur. I'm amazed at how my dreams reframe things...it's quite clever.


OK but get this ...[chuckle to myself]..I had my first dream that was a musical. The songs were about some weird subjects but they were songs. Unfortunately I cannot remember most of the words or rhythm but I do remember thinking these are weird songs and I also remember thinking that the songs were actually songs. [laugh out loud]..


Reduce neediness to have people know I'm there. I no longer need to strike up a conversation, for the purpose of drawing attention to me. The need for external validation, approval, or acknowledgment that I exist has diminished.


At times I'm encouraged about the future, I get a glimpse of what is possible and for short periods of time I'm excited about things but that feeling does not persist.


Lately I'm feeling like I've hit a plateau in progress. I'm looking forward to stage 2.


Memory:

Spelling is improving, but other than that everything is about the same as my last post.


Beta Brainwave Entertainment


Per Shannon's instructions for Beta training I started to listen to Beta in the morning and just after lunch. I have an increase in mental clarity on the days I listened to the beta Brainwave entertainment. I'll take a week off, per instructions, and see what happens.

[Patti]

Very interesting observations Awesome! I personally really like that Clint Eastwood swagger...

I had an idea. How bout after you get done reforming the Alpha man in yourself, you purchase the Poetry of the Silent Eros toolkit and we could compare notes (since there's not many women here to compare with).
I'd be interested in hearing your wife's feedback.

I know many guys use that Alpha sub to attract women to themselves, but this Eros sub may just be what keeps them there..

[AwesomeYoungDude]

Cool, That thread would def need to move to the +18 section.

[Patti]

lmao...yes it would!

[spiritman]

I am new here to this forum, but I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed reading this thread! This program sounds exactly like what I need, and I will be purchasing it very shortly. AwesomeYoungDude, keep us posted on your results. I can't believe the results you're having all from stage 1.

[AwesomeYoungDude]

Stage 2 week 1
- Tired a lot of the time I just want to veg.
- Started regularly watching TV (Its been a long time since I last watched)
- Lots more unsolicited complements from females.
- More constant use of lower voice. (not yet subconscious)
- More subservient behavior around me (not everyone just more and more).
- More individuals needing to shake my hand.
- Better at communicating why someone's behavior is unacceptable to me.
- More jockeying with my children for dominant roles within the family. Maybe a bit more respect from my Children
- More and more becoming indifferent to what others think about me.
- I'm less and less needing the approval of those who have no influence, meaning, or value to my life short/long term.
- I need not acknowledge my co-workers as they walk past my office.
- Drudging up of old memories that sting when I remember them. I acknowledge that's who I was then but I'm not that person any more nor have I been for a long time. I no longer make the bad decisions I made in my youth. Once I come to terms with that, I literally forget what the memory was (this does not occur with all memories just a few). I tried to remember what was drudged up yesterday and I cannot remember. If I finally do, the memory has little or no sting to it.
- I'm better at knowing what to say and when to say it.
- More and more I'm winning work related differences of opinion. In the past I would not push it. But now when I'm told no I ask why and reiterate my position and the no's are turning into yes.
- I have less and less motivation at work. I decided to switch months between Max memory and Overcome Procrastination 4G. I'll continue to alternate these two subs with each AM stage. (Hopefully Max Memory 4G is out soon).
- More perturbed at stupidity or perceived stupidity around me. Don't try to pull the wool over my eyes. Keep your opinions to yourself and don't try to push your opinion on me. Only my opinion counts.
- Still having cleansing dreams. The dreams are now instructing my mind to cut sections out not just isolated incidents.
- Shannon and Andrew made a cameo in one dream. They came to my house to talk about the subs and the technology. In my dream they were almost as tight lipped about the sub technology as they are in real life (however they did spill a few secrets). OK Shannon/Andrew if you need my expertise you can just send me an email. No need to invade my dreams.
- Slight improvement in mental focus (Not sure if its AM11, Max Memory, or BWE Beta).

Beta
Continue to get regular exposure. Definite improved clarity and focus of mind.