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An assertiveness message in E2
03-21-2017, 07:11 PM
Post: #1
An assertiveness message in E2
Shannon,

I'm writing honestly since, well, your subs work.

I've been using E2 the last month, and I've got just under a week before I've done 50 days. I'm really wondering about something though.

While preparing to listen to tonight's sub while sleeping, I realized that bully in my head, the parental voice I grew up with, had been pushing me around a lot of today. Even after working all day, all I'd done just wasn't "enough".

Looking through my sub recordings (I make my own too), I noticed one. Though I'd been making one on motivation to sleep to, something inside just felt not right. I chose one I made months ago called "Learn to say no". I flashed back to a hypnotic recording I'd used for months on healing from abuse. As an adult, I'd abused, rejected, and ignored myself, year after year, and using that recording had me waking up and feeling capable of handling challenges.

Why? The message revolving inside my head, a tool I'd never known growing up, was speaking up for myself, being assertive (angry or not), and just plain being in my own corner. 99% of the time that bully is in me, and I often cower to it. I'll confirm this truth: my (now ex) wife, when we separated, shared I never stood up for her. Honestly, I didn't. Not even for myself, ever. I'd never seen or witnessed it growing up, and I'd never witnessed my mom standing up for herself. She chose to drink instead. With my ex-wife, I'm an introvert, and she is a loud extrovert. Since I felt demasculated often by her, I'd definitely not gone LOOKING for training on it from men. I'm that introverted, nerdy, and (fearful) guy who still feels insecure around women and men too, for I grew up with my alcoholic mother alone, who didn't date or remarry. I did anything to receive crumbs of love and attention. Same with my ex-wife, who chose to play alpha female since I walked around fearful of making her angry. Cowering (I thought) was safer and easier than cutting and ripping with words. My ex even shit-tested me by making me push her off once when she rushed me in anger, then played the victim like it was my fault. It was the epitome of dysfunctional relationships, for as I wanted to be healthier, our tension grew.

Those are facts. I'm working on knowing my mom today (for healing me), a woman much different these days compared to my teen years. And I'm focusing on accepting my ex. She is mean, and I try keep my distance, as I'm still tempted to "call her on her shit". I BS myself thinking it's for her, but it's not. It's for me. It's anger gone sideways.

And I can't change her. I can only change myself. Being in healthy 12 step groups has helped greatly. But 3 meetings a week is scant compared to hours and hours of sub listening I do when I'm home.

My focus for writing was to ask if you would strongly consider putting in assertiveness scripting to E2 or another sub. For me, it would be an emotional lifeline. I'm tempted to return to my hypnotic subliminals after E2 since that message was LIFE GIVING for me. I didn't NEED someone/something else to stand up for me! I could do it, and I FELT it when I did. Wow!

Thanks for hearing me out. I needed to spew that!
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03-22-2017, 03:29 PM
Post: #2
RE: An assertiveness message in E2
The alpha male program should take care of that, it did for me.

Meh https://youtu.be/Q5pggDCnt5M
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03-22-2017, 04:46 PM
Post: #3
RE: An assertiveness message in E2
Yeah, I looked into AM myself. My biggest stopping point is it's in 5G. My first 5G sub I was clearing a LOT quickly, and it took over my thinking as long as I ran it. (OGSF). I'm curious: should I wait until AM7 since it has a lot of new anti-resistance measures? (You can't answer my question; I'm wondering if I'm the only one who thought that) :-)
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eternity
03-24-2017, 01:22 AM
Post: #4
RE: An assertiveness message in E2
Give E2 Some time I would say, for me it has worked in layers, working around problems in a way I couldn't foresee.

- "No problem can be solved by the same kind of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein
- "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going" - Will Smith

-> E2 journal
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findingme
03-24-2017, 06:11 PM
Post: #5
RE: An assertiveness message in E2
Greenduck,

Based on some advice I was given today, I agree.

I've been in touch with a member here, and I shared how last night I put OGSF back on. This must have hit him, for he told me another member was advised by Shannon to do OGSF and E2 each a month at a time, back to back, until some breakthrough came to pass.
I've got OGSF playing now (silent), and I'm not having the same reactions I did 2 months back. I was clearing a lot quickly, where I was crying multiple times a day, or just felt weepy. I'd mislabeled it resistance, and was kindly told I was clearing. Also, OGSF was my first SubShop sub.

But after doing E2 one round, I'm not experiencing my emotions so strongly. I'll stay on OGSF a month, then go back to E2. Both are powerful.
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03-25-2017, 06:14 PM
Post: #6
RE: An assertiveness message in E2
E2 is very complex and sometimes very subtle in how it works. It is not always going to do things the way you might consciously think you want or need them done, but the way it works is what you actually need. I have seen it clear away decades of emotional and physical abuse in a little over a year. It is truly astonishing how subtle, yet powerful it actually is.

OGSF is much more focused and much less "move at your own pace". This is the goal, and this is the pace, and HUP two three four! Forward MARCH!

They're both useful, but in different ways. I suggest that E2 for a year straight is not a small investment of time, but an excellent one regardless. Alternating was suggested because I was not sure how E2 would work at that time.

But if alternating works for you, go for it. Just remember that you need to follow the rules about mixing subs.

Assertiveness is something that is probably going to make it into the 6G skeleton script.

Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
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findingme, eternity
03-25-2017, 09:38 PM
Post: #7
RE: An assertiveness message in E2
Thank you for chiming in Shannon. I truly appreciate that.
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03-28-2017, 05:14 AM (This post was last modified: 03-28-2017 05:15 AM by findingme.)
Post: #8
RE: An assertiveness message in E2
I began E2 right after reading your remark Shannon, and even 2 days after I noticed some internal changes: a slight sadness since I was leaving some lifelong fears behind.

I'll request another addition to the 6G script, if it's not included yet: Ultimate Success. I know it's in DMSI 3.1, I've read the testimonials and noticed their attitudes, so if you could have a strong emphasis on "getting it done", this would be beyond words. Thanks.
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