Alpha Male - Spiral's Journal

[Spiral]

Well, I decided to jump on the band wagon. Either way it was a very good choice on my part. I can't say I notice anything really but I do feel different. I can't put my finger on it but I believe I'm starting to not care. This is some different kind of indifference I'm feeling. And my self confidence has started to reach higher levels already.

[Shannon]

and you've been using it for how long now?

[Spiral]

1 day. I may have rushed to comment but it must have been the switch from WM to alpha. Either way The sub is hitting me hard like WM was at the beginning but not as bad. I don't feel too drained. But also yesterday at work was a little different... I just can't put my finger on it.

[Shannon]

Just be careful to let the sub do it's thing, and not to have too many expectations based on what you've read.

[Spiral]

I understand. Thanks, Shannon.

[WildFlower]

Wise move on your part going through the Alpha set first. Just out of interest though, besides myself, is their anyone else left on Women Magnet now?

[Ryan]

Maggz was a week behind me but he hasn't been on in a while, Leo was behind him and Keasty is a few weeks in.

[Majordomus]

This is amazing, how AM continues to lure to itself.
Well, small wonder, really.
And I am still tempted to organize that meeting of Alpha Males.
For me, that would mean flying over the ocean and doing some traveling alongside.
Heck, I might give it a go, who knows.

[Ryan]

We could always do a week in Vegas

[Cortez]

(09-28-2010 02:02 PM)Ryan Wrote:  We could always do a week in Vegas

You sold me.

[Majordomus]

Hahahahha, yeah...

[Spiral]

Vegas baby!

Well this morning I woke up feeling pretty drained and my back was killing me. I'm at work at the moment just cruising along trying to stay awake. I had a weird dream last night but incredibly humerus. I went to a Sears like store and talked to a sexy woman at the Customer Service desk. I asked her for an application. And she asked me what I was applying for. I said "blow jobs". And she just began smiling like crazy and said ok great that means you can apply for TV delivery man (lol). Either way we disussed the work schedule, she talked to her boss, and I got the job. This was all in 3rd person.. or so it seemed. But I never saw myself in the dream but maybe I was being myself? Either way there were scenes where I wasn't supposed to be in... like her talking to her boss. So, it was like a movie, but either way it was awesome. The dream was pretty much lost after me getting my job and getting ready to make the first delivery.

[Ryan]

You know, I've also had very sexual dreams since switching programs, most of mine are very seductive, I grab the girl and do wild things to her and she loves it. I love my dreams

[Spiral]

During the first few days I was feeling the same as I was when starting Women Magnet but like I said AM wasn't hitting me as hard. Today I woke up very drained but today I am relatively content. I am calm and content and I feel real good about myself and life in general. I also had a very deep sleep last night... One instant I was awake and in the next instant I was up and jumping in the shower. Even though my head felt heavy and drained it only took an hour or so for me to fully awaken.

[Spiral]

It's been about a week now since I started. I do notice somethings happening for sure but only a little. Today I was in my head alot for some odd reason.. but I've been very driven for most of today and this weekend. I've been thinking alot about what my purpose in life is. I really don't know and not sure when or how I will figure it out but I know it will come to me soon. I believe truly my purpose right now is to be grateful and content with what is now. I feel pretty comfortable however, today when I was in my head I was somewhat looking for approval. I wasn't as confident in my work as I normally am. I showed some of my colleagues the beta of the new show opening I've been working on for the new season and they were really enjoying it however I felt less confident than I have been the last year or so. This is wierd because I'm usually quite confident in my editing skills. I guess some things are being brought up little by little. I'm really not so worried about it at all. I let these things bother me a little but it has never been easier to let things like this go. This is a great sign. It is almost effortless now to let go of any feelings towards masterbation now. and Porn has been completely out of the picture for the last couple of months. I'm enjoying this process alot more than Women Magnet so far.

[K-Train]

I notice that the Alpha set has also made me more driven as well. To me, it feels like a "me against the world" mentality in which I feel that the odds are against me yet I'm relishing in meeting the challenge. As far as being in your head, that will either come and go until stage 2 or gradually disappear.

I'm not suprised you find the Alpha set more enjoyable. I've been enjoying ever minute of this journey so far, and I'm sure when you've finished the Alpha set you'll be able to really enjoy Woman Magnet more.

[Shannon]

That's how it was designed.

[Spiral]

Welll.. I'm almost done with week 2. I've been having some weird dreams. Non of them are erotic in any way.. they are just weird and they are so weird I don't care to analyze them and try to guess what they mean lol. One thing is for sure though.. Alpha Male is making me tired. I can get through a day at work and just relax and do my work but come the last two hours of work (3-5) I just want to get the hell out of there. I know that's how everyone else is but I just can't stand being there. I don't show it verbally or in my body language but I just have alot of trouble concentrating on the task at hand and actually giving a f*ck. Of course this is something you have to do at work but I've become pretty a.d.d. this last week. Yesterday I went to bed at 8:30 and got some very good rest. Today got home from work and passed out for 3 hours. I'm about to go back to bed for tomorrow. I guess that's just the way it is for now.

[ronatello]

Stage 1 was VERY TIRING for me (the carpet bombing thing, you see...). But stage 2 is lesser so. And yes, I have very weird dreams every night. The last 2 nights I had dreams w/ girls in them (and those are bizarre as well). The plot thickens!

[Spiral]

I just got back from a long trip. I must say I wasn't able to listen to the sub as much as I liked to. I missed two days but I plan to make it up this weekend. I'll listen to the sub tonight and for about 16 hours tomorrow and the next day since when I listened to the sub on the trip it was only for 6 hours at a time when sleeping.

Also of note I kind of know what everyone is saying when they say they begin to feel a little annoyed with some of the little things people do and also I have almost zero tolerance for complaining and negative energy now. And on the trip I was in a leader type role the whole time. Most people waited for me to say something or command them to do something. It was cool. Either way I feel real good and I'm starting to feel very comfortable with myself and I feel like that part of the program where it fixes you to kind of realize who you are and know your self is having an effect on my big time. I dont know if it's in the stage 1 script but I find it completely effortless to feel calm comfortable and just very happy all the time. I'm not very fearful anymore except for a few things and I have an unbelievable presence and everyone notices me. I like the effects of stage 1 so far.

I also had 2 very bad dreams while on the trip. They literally only lasted for 5 minutes.. one for 2 minutes.. in sleep time whatever that is. This is incredibly interesting because I havn't had a nightmare since elementary school.

All in all things are just fantastic